Contrary to popular belief, this piece of shit blog isn’t dead yet. Roughty, you are slacking big time. Dank, you are a substitute teacher. Suit, you live in Virginia Beach.
I feel sad, but good about myself, when I compare my diminutive accomplishments to the even more worthless acts of my colleagues.
To tell the truth, this blog is a little bit like the Federalist Papers, except with a bent towards modern understanding and enjoyment. I mean, what’s the point of living life in the world today if you don’t get something out of it, and what is there to really get? I mean, the modern U.S. citizen chooses between two basic lines of thought: thinking with your big head or thinking with your little head. Don’t get offended, lades, it means the same thing to everyone across the board, with or without a penis. Let’s break it down, old school Good and Bad, people either learn and create, or they watch TV and procreate. Perhaps it’s a bit simple and dramatic, and I’m sure there are those out there who can achieve the middle ground. However, inventing a new school of philosophical thought is hard to do when you’ve got a mouth to feed. Just ask my homey Hemingway.
For me, the President of Iran secured George Bush’s place in history as a forward-thinking President, on the cutting edge of world politics. What the fuck? Well, when jackass Ahmadinejad said that “There are no homos in Iran,” and then he repeated it to make sure we all heard, I went Ding Ding Ding in my head. First of all, the jackasshole President of Columbia fucked up by calling the guy a “dictator.” The guy is clearly not a dictator, the Ayotollah or whatever is calling the shots, not the fucking figurehead president. So the jackass from Columbia starts the whole fucking charade with a false statement, geared towards sensational emotionalism, which clearly struck a chord with the president, the crowd, and everybody who watches. YAY! We all think as he calls the guy out for being a “dicatator.” Nevermind the fact that Iran is quite far from a dictatorship, and even if it was, President Ahmadinejad is only a figurehead, a puppet for the theocracy.
Anyway, the dude’s “homosexuals don’t exist” points to a deep, fundamental difference in cultural understanding between hardcore Fundamental Islam and the freedom that we say we represent. Also, please forget the fact that Fundamental Christians would probably be saying the same exact thing about homos if they were controlling a theocratic state. Anyway, this guy has the balls to talk about “academic freedom” and all this other shit, while at the same time denying a human phenomenon that has been around since the beginning of time. A human body has a certain number of holes, and some people like some holes more than other, and whatever happens culturally to support and encourage your love for your favorite Human Hole is called sexuality. Anyway, to deny that some people like to give/take it up the butt is like denying they have a butthole to violate in the first place. Think about it.
Anyway, this guy is writing a history for his people right now, he is coming to the land of the Crusading Infidels and giving it to us right in our face. I’ll be the first one to admit that the Iraq War and all other wars are fucked beyond fucked, but I will also be the first to admit that wars will never go away, just like flagrant homosexual buttsex won’t either.
After hearing him say that, with a straight face to an audience full of enlightened laughter, I discovered personally that we really are in a war with Iran, and that we do have to win it to prevent an Islamic worldwide proletariat Revolution. All of his statements about “not building a bomb” are just thrown out the window for me. Either the guy is a brilliant orator, who can face public humiliation in the face of his obvious lies, or he actually believes what he is saying, that there are no homos in Iran. Which one is scarier…being lied to about nuclear bombs, or listening to someone publicly plan the nuclear destruction of a global society. I’m not sure.
Anyway, just recently our President, GWB, has been getting thrashed like Denzel Washington gets thrashed by Mathew Broderick in Glory. Bla bla bla, fuck Bush, fuck this, fuck that. I want to know how many people voted for GW who are now talking shit. Mad shit. Don’t vote for him, then, you fucking retard.
Now, to my grand point. Yesterday, the President of Iran proved to the world, on live television in front of and enlightened, opinionated and divided audience in the greatest city in the USA, that he is not playing by our rules. Like Haganav wrote in one of the first political pieces on this blog, these people are not playing by our rules, it is Hamas rules.
The whole time, through this whole mess, I kept thinking to myself that maybe Iran was pursuing peaceful nuclear energy, that maybe everything really is just a spin for Israel, and that I would be proved right.
Wrong. George W. Bush, you got me. I still think you are a knucklehead, elitist fuckwheat, but you were right when you said that Ahmadinejad was a mortal enemy of the U.S,and our closest and most powerful ally, Israel. And I am beginning to think that you were right when you stood by your War on Terror and Islamic Fundamentalism (forget the fact that you fuckhead Christians aren’t any better).
I’m not saying Nuke the Fuckers, but please, nuke them before they nuke us.
PS- Do what the French do. Despite how much we hate them, they are usually right.