Similar to the blietzkreig’s lightning attack of speedy fast quickness, a foreign invader has conquered vacantly empty Blogres. The invading invaders advantageously took advantage of King Stoney’s debaucherous debauchery on a weekend retreat into the depths of the dark wooded forest of ghouls and plentiful fairy dust. The Minister of Defense, Roughty McRoughton, and his army of little green Alesman sensed the plot afoot and attempted to meet the insurgent infidels but was impeded by the River of COX’ s Dam break and flooding of the southern swamps of the South end of the Kingdom. The sole availabe resource to meet invader was the King’s Huntsman, SuitYourSelf the Busy, but the woodsman was off hunting the woods for herbs, berries, fish, and small game. Now, all that stands in the invader’s way is the Blacksmith, Twitch the White, also the Court’s Rebuter empowered solely with the title of Premier Commenter.
Travelin’ by day in their own land, the conquerors arrived in the early hours of Blogres and seized the Book of Savagery–the incredulous edict of the King and his court. With this powerful empowerment the invader gained total controlocity in the unthinking subjects longing for the gift of endowed savagery. They will now listen in dumbblankfaceirification to the holder of the Book of Savagery.
His Awesomeness, Chancellor Ixniamak, the head of the new government, has issued his first decree:
Mouth-breathing, grass smoking, wannabe Fuckenstein polska opposition like this will be eliminated:
Do not fear, my children, I will be victorious in battle
Your Loving Father and Chancellor,
We, the Royal Press, promise to bring you all the details. We hope we can bring you an exclusive of the Chancellor’s ceremonial Sulfuric Acid baby-head baptismal. We will exploit all means to bring you the most suffering, death, and destruction of any news organization.
–Morel the Destroyer–
Brought to you by Apple,
Pickers of the Tree of Knowledge, (censored by the Committee to Kill the Human Spirit):