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Archive for December, 2007
Young Savage Singing Along to Flight of Conchords
Published December 31, 2007 Uncategorized Leave a CommentPros
Athene
Maynard
Pete Doherty
John Lennon
Jimi Hendrix
Sick Ass Radiohead
People I don’t know
Noobs
GWB
CEOs abound
Me
My bosses
People I know
“You are either a pro or a noob. That’s life.”
When you break it down like that, either/or, then you get a good sense of the black and white differences between pros and noobs. I am a big fat fucking noob, and I know it, so if I said otherwise, I’d be lying.
The pros in my universe are all people I would consider to be “a motherfucking asshole,” and their pro-ness gives them that edge.
Noob-status, ala ME, is achieved through sustained worthlessness, a lack of motivation and focus, and general useless negativity. This blog is a PERFECT example and manifestation of my weakness and noob-ocity. Here I am at work wasting my life, and guaranteeing my noobness by putting energy into a gay-shit blog that nobody reads (for good reason).
Now now now. Some of you might be like “oh man Peezy is being a negative fag-ass nancy,” and guess what, you are right. The difference between today and yesterday is that I have recognized my weakness, and the change is happening. No more noob status.
I am pro now. Just like that, I will show you how. FSSSSWWWCCCHHHWWWTTTT, just like that, I am around the corner and out of sight.
No stories inside today for me. Sweaty palms on my keyboard, my shirt is rip sleeved, so keeping my sweater on to hide my grublicker status.
An OG Stoney, DanJa, visited this weekend in LA. It was sweet. Danja is in the big city, living in Brooklyn and working in Times Square, and he has shit together more than any of us by a million miles, except maybe for Suit. Suit is going to be a PhD soon.
Survey on the news says How much will you increase your holiday spending from last year? Most say 6%. I will be decreasing my $$ spent this year, by somewhere around 10000000%. I’m getting my christmas present today! Do you all want to know what it is?
$420, that I am paying immediately for traffic tix. I have traffic tix, lots of them. Don’t even know how many. Shit. Parking nazis are really hardcore around here, and that kind of sucks, because I have paid the city literally thousands of dollars, because one of the worker drones saw my car being flagrant, and I got tapped for the ticket. Worst.
Anyway, I’m getting some dress shirts and pants for xmas too. That’s about it. When I was kid, I couldn’t believe adults only got clothes and money (there weren’t that many gadgets in the 80’s, remember?). Now, I really need clothes and I really need money, so everything is coming full circle apparently.
Relief, that’s what would be nice.
What’s new, now what’s new in Stoneyland….
Radiohead in my ears, maybe that’s why I’m in such a good mood.
Guitar playing is fun, if you are in the right mood and have the right attitude. If not, then you are wasting your time and energy.
I will never be a professional skateboarder, but I would like to be able to do some more tricks. I have extremely weak ankles, so when I go for tricks, I pull my punches BIG TIME because I don’t want a broken ankle.
I found out Athene, the dude from the video games, is fake. I am disappointed, but not too bad. I still like that character, he is fucking nuts. Dude is a great actor.
Happy weekend, weenieheads
I am burning through this guy.
Savage.
Savage.
Savage.
Here’s shit that I found on the internet today.
Big ass fucking crazy road bomb in Iraq – a Must See
Henry Kissinger clarifies what the NIE report really means. Kissinger is nuts bc he is a fucking crazy psychotic ridiculous strangeglove.
What was Huckabee thinking when he said that shit about Mormonism and Jesus and brothers and shit? Romney’s religion speech spoke clearly about religion’s place in politics. That would be outside, sorry if it’s cold right now, but summer is coming.
Al Sharpton got subpoenaed by the Feds. Good. Somebody has to stick up for the little people, but this dude is shady, divisive and just shitty in my opinion. Opinion.
Liza Minnelli collapsed as she was leaving the stage. She reminds me of Liz Taylor, but a lot grosser. The only reason I put her on here is so I can segue into Arrested Development:
Oh shit, I couldn’t find AD Liza. I’ve never seen Cabaret, but I saw this, and it’s really gay. Maybe that’s why gay people like her, because she’s like a guygirl fungus person.
To offset the total gayness of that shit, here is another song from a movie.
In Dreams
That’s all I can think of right now. I’ll add more as the day goes. Maybe.
New Shit I just found: Watch this guy, he is PISSED!!!
Here’s his first video. He’s a pro WoW gamer seems like. Talkin SHIT!!! I enjoy a good shittalk like that, I really enjoy it.
“This is ultimately going to come down to two questions for undecided voters: Which is the Democrat best positioned to win in November, and which one is best qualified to start from the very first day and give the country a fresh start,” said Tom Vilsack, a former Iowa Democratic governor who serves as national co-chair of Clinton’s campaign.
Here we are in full primary season, and my first one at that.
HilDog stands poised to lose, as much as I would love to say win. Vilsack (above) is telling me exactly what I want to hear, but the thing is, I feel like a lot of people I know, that I see driving down the road next to me, don’t feel the same way. And I also know that what our old boy Vilsack above says, well, it strikes deep fear into the hearts of mortals.
HilDog is the Devil, a worshiper of socialism, Satan and……sodomy. That’s right, folks. Sodomy. *larrycraig*
No really, let’s get back on track.
Iowa, New Hampshire…are you serious? Is it really a burden of the all-American Midwestern political activists, to wield so much strength, to be responsible for the fate of the country, and of the world?
People of Iowa and whoever the fuck else is voting, I wish you the best in your decisions.
And as much as I wish I could wave my rainbow colored Democratic flag, just another regular person on the way to the Bowl game, I am scared to jump the gun.
Four years ago, I got a shirt that said “Bush is Over” in dark green (like a forest). I couldn’t bring myself to wear it; something just was not right about predicting the fate of the country ala the Abercrombie fall catalog. I cast my ballot from a distance for the vilified and slandered good old boy (which one?), but, in the end, fate would have me bite my hand again in anguish.
Oh Woe is me, the lots are cast and they have won.
And now here today, can we make another joke at what so many have fought and died for? And not only those who have fought and died, those who have worked tirelessly and relentlessly, silent footsoldiers of the pencil clan, fighting and dying (souls [haha]).
Remember the face of your father, a quote I have recently borrowed and discovered and am learning to live by. The face of your father, from whence you came, and who you are and could be.
Those voices, the people who have come before me, tell me that it is coming to be my turn to speak, that it is our time for action. Many have come before, and many will come after. For us, for what we can do today, we should all think and act for what should be best for our country.
In a country founded upon individualism and self-sufficiency, it is all of our burdens to bear now, to fight for what we have and what our children will have. My puny arms will never aim a rifle across a trench, and if they do, I pity my bunkmate. But to think, and to love our country and to stir the pot of *democracy* and the enlightened thought, it is our duty as people who were born in the United States to take up our responsibilities as citizens of democracy, and cast your vote, and at least fucking THINK about what is going on.
With privilege, comes responsibility. That’s another quote I learned later in life.
And for all our quotes, and everything I jabber about…what does it mean, in the end? Some would believe that the lots have already been calculated in the supercomputer, and that one person will win no matter what. Others would sit at home and block it all out, because the world of politics is full of fakery and bullshit, and nothing can come of a single vote.
But I believe, as a student of history and bullshittery, that my vote, that my actions, that my thinking about this election will do something. Even to the people around me, at the very least, I would hope to inspire in you to register and vote for whoever you want, Jeb Bush, Jenna Bush or whoever else is running. I really would, I would hope to make you vote, but that is merely sentimental idealism, and my good friends across the pond Radiohead said something about don’t get sentimental it always ends up drivel. And so I leave you with my final quote, from Radiohead.
Dear Reader, all 20 of you who will read this, I beg you to listen to what’s going on, and to do something about it. Even if that means shouting on the street corner, writing a gay blog post, smoking a fat joint and just THINKING about it, or doing whatever else you do.
It’s our country, and it’s our time. No one else is going to do anything to help us. We have to do it ourselves.
And I do mean annihilate. This movie, “Beyond the Ring” is the stuff studios get wrecking balls taken to them over. If you love inexplicable slow motion, fake accents, worse fight scenes, and terrible knock-off Korn music, your movie has finally come to fruition. Oh, and add in a whopping dose of Gary Busey (like there is any other kind of dose of Gary Busey).
WOW! Consider my face melted. I had my reservations about joining that MMA class down the street, but now that I know I have the opportunity to make $300,000, save a little girl from a deadly brain tumor, AND bleed my own blood, I will be first in line tomorrow morning to rock that dojo.
I may not be the fastest, strongest, or most skilled, but Hollywood has taught me all I need is heart. Heart, and an older black man as my mentor (preferably a blind one, but I will take what I can get). Oh, and a chiseled jaw, and a girl who is dating the king of the dojo who is taken by surprise for her strange new feelings for the dashingly handsome upstart in the MMA world.
Before I get ahead of myself though, we do need to list a few of the highly egregious fouls this movie commits.
1. Tossing in a useless sub-plot to tug at the heartstrings of the .5% of the population who will see this movie. I mean, seriously. Come on. Am I supposed to believe this guy is fighting to raise $300,000 to get rid of her brain tumor. First of all, if this little girl has no insurance, I am sure her bills have far surpassed that figure by now, and she hasn’t even had the surgery yet. So, the main motive for your movie is out the fucking window from the get-go, congrats.
2. Stating in your movie that your, “sport” is the most dangerous, most important, most famous, etc…etc in the world. This is something inferior movies about inferior activities must include in at least the preview to get people to come watch. I cannot recall watching a baseball, football, or basketball movie where there is some painful line going out of its way to state the obvious. We know it is the World Series, Super Bowl, or NBA championship, because we know and care about those sports.
Yet when you get a movie about MMA for example, you must listen to some dumbass line such as, “This is the most dangerous profession in the world”. Yeah, behind soldier, deep sea diver, police officer, fire fighter, astronaut, blogger, and so on. Get over yourself MMA.
3. Making me wish Jean Claude Van Damme, Steven Segal, or Gov. Schwarzenegger would make an appearance. They don’t even need to do much, maybe a roundhouse kick here, a chop to the neck there, or even a terrible one-liner in some phony Austrain accent. Anything to save me from the abomination this movie became.
Ugh, it’s too early to get my blood riled up.
Music is not just dead, it has been murdered
Published December 10, 2007 beatles , music , non-savage , Roughty 3 CommentsMusic used to be alive and well, prospering even. After enjoying decades of progression of sound, style, savagery, the last 7-10 years have been quite a disappointment. Unfortunately, it has become an evil I have learned to live with. I have my CD collection (that’s right, fuck IPods) and I am damn proud of it.
Music is not created anymore, all that are created are flash-in-the-pan media sensations the 8-14 year old girl demographic can have blossoming sexual fantasies about. Oh yeah, and the teenage gyrating girls have the target dempgraphic of 8-65 year old men too. Basically, those with musical taste are fucked.
It is no longer about talent, but marketability. Can you sing and dance? Marvelous, but if you don’t have a GQ or Victoria’s Secret face, there is no future for you. Go have some surgery with the assholes on Rodeo Drive, then maybe we can talk.
Whatever happened to giving people like Janis Joplin, Ray Charles, Chuck Berry, etc a chance? They were all ugly motherfuckers, but who cared? The ability and passion they showed through their music overshadowed any arbitrary physical negatives. Their music inspired, and continues to inspire people. These are timeless artists; those whose melodies and lyrics could transcend generations and still be relevant to your grandchildren. Let’s see how, “Hit me baby, one more time”, “Dirrrrrrrrrrrrty”, and “Tearin’ up my heart” survive the next 20 years. Oh wait, you already forgot about those songs and those people? That’s right, they are all shadows of their former non-talented multi million dollar selves.
Take a look at the most recent highest selling albums. I haven’t, but if I have learned anything from TV and USA Today, they are as follows.
1. High School Musical
2. High School Musical 2
3. High School Musical 3
4. Hannah Montana
5. Solja Boi
Who the fuck are these people? Useless euthanasia canidates for all I care.
My hatred for contemporary music has been brooding for a long time. There has not been any new music I have enjoyed in quite some time. Whatever my disdain is for these Johnny and Jenny come latelies, what I saw today was pre-meditated musical murder. This, “artist” had to plan, rehearse, and ultimately feel good enough to carry out the act. According to law, this clearly establishes criminal intent, which is punishable by death. If America had any balls (which it does not) this person would be put to death.
Who am I talking about? Fergie, of course. Viewer discretion is advised, suggested, and encouraged because I doubt you readers can be held accountable for your actions.
Jesus, how off-key do you have to be to get gonged and have a comically oversized hook wrapped around your neck, dragging you off stage in shame. Apparently, at least 3 octaves.
I’ll give it to Fergie however. She, or her prop manager (most likely her prop manager) is incredibly clever. Fashioning a gun on the microphone stand, and having Fergie point and shoot at the audience is a brilliant allegory for the vocal assault upon the audiences’ ears. Furthermore, if it wasn’t bad enough to have Fergie perform at whatever Bizzaro World venue this was, the promoters had that drunken retarded dwarf Danny DeVito introduce her.
I can just imagine the pre-concert meeting with all the executives.
“Hey, you know what would make this show great? If we cash in on the waning popularity of a dancer with no singing talent from an Uncle Tom rap group.”
*yeahs can be heard all around as all the yes men jiggle their turkey necks*
“Snap! You know what would be better? Let’s have her bastardize an incredible Paul McCartney song with her cottage cheese thighs laboriously tucked into leather pants gyrating around a stage full of pyrotechnics and over-the-hill backup dancers.”
“Oh yeah, and let’s get Danny DeVito to sing her praises and introduce her.”
“Secretary, draft two blank checks for these untalented non savage assholes.”
The United States of America were never for Christ in the first place, fucking idiot.
“For Christ” Are you kidding me?
That’s no different than “For Muhammad” or “For Marx” or “For Santa Claus.”
If Huckabee wins the Presidency in 2008, then we are in for a sore, sore couple of years, if not the ultimate destruction of the U.S. in the form that we know and love.
Fuck Huckabee and his bullshit theocracy he is conspiring to inspire.
Fuck that!
Arnie for President!!
Stoney Wage Slave 