Archive for July, 2007

Key West, Bitches

Live from Key West, Stoney speaking…

Swam with sharks today. I’ve always, always, always wanted to, and I finally got to today. It was fucking sweet.

StoneyWageSlave doesn’t need Stoney anymore. After days of absence, we are hitting new record pageviews, and all on Roughty’s hilarious Pegasus post. Click on the pegasus tab on the right to read this modern journalism classic.

I will return!

PEACE

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Roughty’s Random Weekly Video, Week 10: Back on the Atlantic

Yeah, sue me.  I missed the weekly video last week while I was lounging around Venice beach, stoned, drunk, and sunburned.  I was on vacation, one that was sorely needed so fuck off. 

Furthermore, Stoney is on vacation in the Keys, so I’m at the helm.  Unfortunately, when one demolishes one’s bank account on beer, toilet paper and paper towels for a lazy host, and double the quoted rental car price, one must bust one’s ass at work upon returning home. 

I have just returned from a 15 hour work day, and I felt i should post even though my body wants to shut down.  So, I will give you this video thats a bit old, but still funny nonetheless.  The Stonies will love this because the owner of this car dealership is the great Dan Falk’s doppleganger.  I will be posting after this abysmal weekend.  Drink beer readers!

Get out your fucking checkbook.

Riding Bikes = Doing Drugs

Fucking retards.

What the fuck is up with cyclists these days? How many of them have to get busted or be shady before it’s just done, and they either quit testing or quit using.

So far the count is 3 out this year for being shady, including an entire team getting kicked out of the Tour de France for doping. Must suck to get busted for a drug that doesn’t even get you high.

Last year was hilarious, with Floyd Landis winning and then getting busted at the end. Classic. Floyd Landis, if you haven’t heard, is one fucking weird looking dude.

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Now this year, the leader of the race was kicked off his team, for missing two random drug tests. He says he was “in Mexico.” I’ve been to Mexico, and it always involves doing drugs of some kind. He should have said he was in Russia or something, or South Asia.

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Anyway, why don’t they quit? Don’t they know that when you are a mickey mouse rider, and all the sudden you kill everybody, that they are going to drug test you? After everyone is getting busted so bad….you STILL want to go do drugs?

I blame the French. Their weak-willed, socialist society cannot handle the responsibility of enforcing the rules, so now, the entire fucking scene has become a joke.

Freedom Fries Forever, bitches.

At least in America, we know that the athletes we love and admire come clean to the game, and keep the true spirit of competition alive by playing fair, and sticking to the rules.

God Bless America

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Later, Bitches

I’m OUT!

On Friday morning, me and Lady T are rolling a doobie, then rolling to LAX, then boarding a plane (doobie? what doobie?) and peacing to my home state, FLA.

Destination: Key West

I’ve been grinding my shithole job for over a year and a half, and have only gotten off 1 day at a time. I’ve had 3 day weekends, but no 4-day weekends. This one will be a 10-day weekend, and I’m pretty excited.

My blogifications will be light, if there are any at all. I don’t plan on looking at the internet that much, hopefully I will be chillin too hard for that gay nonsense.

Maybe the other members of this gay site, the weaker ones, will step up to the plate during this opportunity to shine. At the least, you bitches should be able to use some pictures you took of me while you were here, so the cool factor of this site doesn’t drop too far.

PEACE

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A Petition

You faggots are not giving due credit to one of the most popular posts of all time.  it should be revered for its popularity in its huge number of comments as well as how well it brought  the group together.  Hail Mary, Fools of Grace should and will be entered in the top posts and included in the hall of fame.  Its made for the most comments  and it was a true tour de force of humor, introspection, scathing satire, symbolism, figurativenessivity, and oh lord of the blog, we won.  put that shit in there so everyone will forever know the true champions and the sorry loser who was emasculated in his failed quest of glory.

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Dankknuggets

Repeat Offenders

Dedicated to those who just can’t seem to keep it clean…at least they’re keeping it real.

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Try matching your favorite Repeat Offender with their repeating offense.

1. smoking herb

2. cocaine, heroin, driving while fucked up

3. credit card forgery, paying for prostitutes, various debauchery

4. cocaine, driving while fucked up

5. smoking crack, marrying bobby brown

6. beating up his wife, smoking crack

7. smoking meth, prostitutes

8. molesting pre-pubescent male children

9. international human rights violations, US Constitutional violations, complete disregard of various international treaties

10. crack, cocaine, driving while fucked up

11. getting some on the side

12. eating cookies

Celebrities Scientology Monday Fuck-Off

It’s fucking Monday, and that sucks. The birthday weekend was a success.

Driving down Hollywood Blvd on Saturday afternoon, it really struck me how much Scientology is picking up. I used to live right next to the Scientology college, or whatever, so I was used to it, but when I came in for a visit, I just couldn’t believe how many huge buildings said “Scientology” on the side, or there was some L. Ron Hubbard bullshit running around. I bought Dianetics about a year ago, and read most of it.

One of the main points about Scientology is you can’t get fucked up. No drinking, smoking or doing drugs at all. You have to be totally there upstairs to get “clear”….you know what else you need to jump into “clear?” About a million bucks. Some of the later auditing sessions cost up to 1k an hour, so it’s quite expensive.

Anyway, pros and cons aside, South Park did the funniest Scientology spoof when Tom Cruise and R. Kelly wouldn’t come out of the closet, and then flashed “THIS IS WHAT SCIENTOLOGISTS REALLY BELIEVE” when they talked about the aliens, and the tortured souls, and the whole Scientology part.

Scientology Roll Call

Danny Masterson

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Beck

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Sonny Bono (bonus points for governmental infiltration)

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Jason Lee (seen at the Sonic Youth show Friday…extra Celebrity Alien bonus)

***Major Edit, Wikipedia entry: “He and his fiancée Beth Riesgraf have a son named Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf Lee (b. September 28, 2003).

PILOT INSPEKTOR RIESGRAF LEE

PILOT INSPEKTOR RIESGRAF LEE

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I think that the Scientologist Celebrities list is much, much less important than the “on the fringe” Scientologist list.

Who is running the new Hollywood media blitz race?

Posh and Becks

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Who is best boys with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes?

Fresh Prince and his dyke ass wife Jada Pinkett

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Scientology PowerHouse Picture of the Week

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