live, from venice beach…

… brought to you by the good people at the world wide, it is my pleasure to bring you the first in what must be a long series of posts regarding the present west-coast excursion.  no pictures this time, as i do not have the apparatus necessary to perform that operation.  rest assured, though, that pictures will be on their way.  consider those pictures to be a tidal wave of destruction rolling directly toward you at the speed of … your … … MIND!

1.  the weed card.

it is real.  for real.  no, seriously, the shit is for real.

2.  liquor.

(+/-) good – you can buy it in the grocery store.  bad – it is very pricey.

3.  ladies.

the hot/nothot ratio is favorable.

4.  weather.

warm and sunny in the sun.  breezy and amazingly comfortable in the shade.  sun is so close that roughton is now red as a tomato.  now, when he becomes drunk he looks even more irish than usual.

5.  demographic and sociological data.

this is all pretty sketchy.  i am not a trained ethnographer.  and when you smoke too much, it’s hard to tell the difference between some types of people.  plus, i have not been into the downtown area of l.a., and i expect to see some differences.  in venice beach, everyone seems to be white, and young, and rich.  everyone is not rich.  that means they all do something to compensate for this lack of being rich.  some of them are straight-up fakers.  (roughty and stoney played doubles billiards with a couple prime examples of this type.)  some of them are really rich.  this makes it easy.  some of them are for real crazy – not dankkkkkkk crazy, but really crazy.  again, this is an easy way to look cool.  come on.  others of the populous are actually cool people.  will report a cool/loser ratio as soon as i can.  but just so you can know, people like you are in the loser category.  read a blog once… loser for life.

ok, it is now time to plug the upcoming submissions.  roughty and stoney think it would be soooo neeeaaatttt to get lots of other dumbasses reading this blog.  that’s right readers.  i know you all are like, “woohoo, roughty, that guy is sooo kewel,” and “ooohh stoney, soooo awesome!”  wrong.  wrong.  wrong.  these guys talk about their blog for real.  this blog is like a mickey mouse lemon ade stand.  come on.  anyway, this means that we’ve talked a lot about future blogs.

1.  vlog #1.  topic will be your friend and mine, dankkkkkkkkknugs.  get ready for this shit.  it’s on.

2.  photo documentary.  (probably more than 1)

3.  reflections on sonic youth

4.  me rubbing roughty’s face in the fact that his sorry ass mets got creamed by the dodgers and that the braves will be beating them in the nl east.  and the fact that all the mets broke their legs.

5.  liquor will make you vomit in los angeles in the same way it will in virginia.  i know it comes as a surprise, but you should believe.

6.  john from cincinnati is set in a fictional location – i.b..  does not exist.  now what?

sorry for this brief and poorly organized post.  soon it will be coming in thick.

lyric of the week:      “I’ll sweep you off your feet,

With a box of chocolates,

But watch it.

‘Cause it’s really

Balled up hog shit.”

these are my conclusive observations.  the rest will need more time to process.



5 Responses to “live, from venice beach…”

  1. 1 gn July 23, 2007 at 7:37 am

    What about the hot/nothot ratio of dudes?!

  2. 2 suityourself July 23, 2007 at 11:37 am

    gn, no dice. all i know is that the rich dudes try to dress like bums, and the bums dress nice to look rich. i will say that everyone has some sun tan, so if you’re into “pasty,” la is not the place. and i can tell you’re into “pasty.” right? riiiight?

  3. 3 gn July 25, 2007 at 11:19 am

    I do love hipsters, who spend most of their time writing/drawing/playing an instrument of one type or another/smoking pot indoors.

  4. 4 stoneywageslave July 25, 2007 at 11:53 am

    what about tan hipsters…do they count?

    what about post-modern hipster…who have come full circle in their hipsterness, and aren’t hip anymore…

    its like this: all the punk kids are conforming to not conform…

    the real punk is at home, eating PBJ’s that his mom made him, listening to the BeeGees and doing crossword puzzles.

    everyone else is just a Big Fat Fucking Poser

  5. 5 twitch August 5, 2007 at 9:20 pm

    well you can tell by the way i use my walk i’m a womens man no time to talk. i wonder where my ma dukes is? she said that she would bring me another one of her special peanut butter and jam sammys. hey do you guys know a seven letter word for a retractable double-layered fold of skin and mucous membrane that covers the glans penis and protects the urinary meatus when the penis is not erect?

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