Dedicated to those who just can’t seem to keep it clean…at least they’re keeping it real.
Try matching your favorite Repeat Offender with their repeating offense.
1. smoking herb
2. cocaine, heroin, driving while fucked up
3. credit card forgery, paying for prostitutes, various debauchery
4. cocaine, driving while fucked up
5. smoking crack, marrying bobby brown
6. beating up his wife, smoking crack
7. smoking meth, prostitutes
8. molesting pre-pubescent male children
9. international human rights violations, US Constitutional violations, complete disregard of various international treaties
10. crack, cocaine, driving while fucked up
11. getting some on the side
12. eating cookies
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Where’s your picture for habitual laziness, repeat portrayal of ass-crack, and ubiquitous douchebaggery?
i’m assuming you are familiar with the cookie monster’s apparent affliction in this time of vitamin pushers and superficial health concerns. if not, i would just like to make clear that the wizards at the new sesame street corporation have been planning and, for all i know, might have already implemented changes to the cookie monster’s drug of choice. they proposed changing him to the vegetable monster in order to inundate our youth with the diarrhea benefit of ruffage. kids do not like green vegetables for whatever variety of reasons, but the cookie monster as i will tentatively call him, acts as a balance to the wholesomeness of most of the show’s characters. while everyone is a bitch who could not survive in the reality of our society, c. monster is a realistic view of the counterculture. he offers balance to the force, much like little ani did bring balance to the force since it was unbalanced toward good.
oscar the grouch is also realistic, but is effecting this apologetic, ill-preparation of our youth that educators seem so keen on implementing at the expense of proper armament. self-esteem teaching, like not using red pens in favor of softer colors like lavender which does not carry the stigma of red, completely destroys the meritorious education system that properly challenges youth through competition. as one of the most basic principles of economics states: competition increases quality. Competition can be dangerous to the ultimate goal of good citizenship, but it is a necessary evil in our evil world.
oscar the grouch says, “fuck ya im grouchy bitch! how would you be acting if you lived in a fucking trash can!”
courtesy of dave chapelle