Introducing the Next President

A second lease on life? What if you got a second lease on your second life, like your computer avatar, or whatever.

I thought of something today, and then dismissed myself. Here’s what I thought about: China is big in the news right now for “human rights violations.” Everyone is up arms about it, or at least a few people are. Everyone is pushing the Tibet issue.

I’m not going to do any research for this one, because I’m just not there. What about Darfur? Every single person I have seen waving a sign says some shit about Tibet. How many people have the Chinese actually “killed” in Tibet, or had a hand in? I have no idea, really.

Anyway, the reason everyone is talking about Tibet is because of the Dali Lama. Everybody likes the Dalai Lama because he is a super-nice guy, and he is the leader of an undeniably “hip” religion. Meditation, CHECK. Orange robes, CHECK. Allusions of martial arts ass-kicking, CHECK.

My point is, it’s a lot easier to rally around an orange spiritual leader than it is to rally behind faceless starving Africans from Africa. The UN, or US (no research) has PUBLICLY STATED that the Darfur situation is indeed a genocide that is occurring….as you read this blog. A genocide, being when one group of people systematically kills another group of people. China is giving the Sudan government guns (or something), which is in turn fueling this crazy genocide (or something). From what enters my foggy head peripherally, I can understand that China does in fact have a hand in the Sudan shitstem, in that they are profiting from the conflict, and their weapons are helping to continue the conflict, and China plans to keep supplying weapons and shit to keep up the profit.

Now that is a classic case of something I don’t fully understand being totally fucked up.

Moving right along, the media’s abandonement of the Darfur issue in favor of the Tibet issue has got to be killing a number of major celebrities, whose main “cause,” as it were, was bringing the Darfur situation to public’s eye. To be honest, I had no idea what the fuck Darfur was until I heard a bunch of celebrities talking about how fucked up it was, then the media storm (9-12 months ago) helped to bring it home. It’s fucked up! What I want to know is, is Brad, Angie and George Clooney sitting around in their Hollywood Hills mansion, cussing out the Dali Lama for stealing there show.

Angie: What the fuck, I’m the one who started this whole cause.

George: Well, actually, She-Devil, my dad has been really involved in this environmental, humanitarian bullshit for a long time. You’re not the first one, jackass.

Brad: I’m adopting New Orleans.

Angie: Well I’m already the President of Darfur, so fuck off.

Sen. John Kerry: You are all wrong. Global warming is the cause.



2 Responses to “Introducing the Next President”

  1. 1 James April 10, 2008 at 12:27 pm

    Great post sir

    Here is some information on the subject

    Think about Darfur; the one time America has decided to openly help Africa failed miserably, maybe you saw the movie about it Black Hawk Down. As horrible as it is, unless we just keep quiet and do not acknowledge it, we can not be held responsible by the excuse of ignorance. It sucks but that’s what it is.

    Keep up the good work


  2. 2 (Best Show)Watch September 7, 2009 at 12:53 am


    Two things

    1) I’d like your permission to (re)print your article on Flight of the conchords
    for our website

    2) I was hoping we could use your ‘scribing’ talent for our website.

    The Best Shows Youre Not Watching (dot) com [all one word]

    ‘The Clone Wars’ is one of our featured shows. We’re hoping to round up a few people who can occasionally contribute perspective (via an article/blog) on the shows – maybe a recent episode, future direction, plot shortcomings etc.

    What’s in it for you?
    Primarily a larger audience back channeled to your blog. We don’t pay but the site has a lot of promise and we’re pretty excited about getting it off the ground. Let me know what you think.


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