Today was a big day in the gaming world. As the enormous, all-encompassing Tokyo Game Show is raging on, Halo 3 was unleashed upon the population. See also: massive online complications with Xbox Live.
By all accounts Halo 3 is what has been expected. An unbeatable multiplayer experience with a good (not great) campaign mode. However, the adequate campaign mode will get a pass from most gamers, seeing as most people will be playing the newest installment of Halo with friends, online or off. See also: massive alcohol consumption, shit talking, and plummeting grades.
Nothing can stand up to me, Master Chief. Not your mom, girlfriend, social life, or grades.
I have recently become the proud owner of an Xbox 360, yet I did not pre-order a copy of Halo 3. It looks like I will have to wait a couple of weeks before I enter the fray, however I am not worried. I am currently engrossed in Bioshock, and I do not need some other nonsense to take up the minimal free time I have left. See also: me being absent from this shitstem.
Yet, with all the hype surrounding the release of Halo 3, I did not feel the itch to quickly grab myself a copy. Everytime I went into the GameStop around the corner to look for a Wii, purchase, or trade in some games, I was constantly assaulted by the sales associates about pre-ordering myself a copy. These motherfuckers can really put a guilt trip on you, especially when you tire of their bullshit and tell them you are not insanely excited about Halo 3’s release. From the looks I was receiving from people in the store that day, I thought I was going to be excommunicated from the Church of Microsoft.
Welcome to GameStop. How can we obliterate your bank account today?
Despite the looks I receive from most gamers, I really was not excited about Halo 3’s release. I will buy the game, and I am positive I will enjoy myself immensely, yet I did not feel I needed to have it right away. There are two games for the 360 however, that I will be going apeshit over, and will be purchasing the day they are released.
ASSASSIN’S CREED
This game will be released this Novemeber, and it is being made by UbiSoft, the geniuses who brought my beloved Prince of Persia into the modern gaming age. From initial accounts, Assassin’s Creed takes a lot of platforming (e.g. puzzle solving, wall climbing, environmental traversing) aspects from Prince of Persia and makes them better and more fluid. If you have never played Prince of Persia, that is no easy feat.
Futhermore, this game is set during the Crusades in Jerusalem; an often overlooked time period in gaming. According to UbiSoft, the combat system features over 14,000 different animations in which you can maneuver your character. Not too much is known about the story, but I am extremely excited to get a hold of this game, and see what the minds at UbiSoft have created for a Crusades style assassin game.
NINJA GAIDEN II
If you have not played Ninja Gaiden for the Xbox, shame on you. Shame, shame. I got the first Ninja Gaiden the day it came out in 2004, and I still cannot put it down. I have beaten a bunch of times, and have even bought the re-release which threw faster, more challenging enemies at Ryu Hayabusa. There is not much more I can say about this game other than it is easily my favorite game in the last 15 years.
Naturally, with this kind of admiration for the first, I am eagerly awaiting the sequel. Today I have seen the first video of gameplay from the Tokyo Game Show, and….WOW. WOW. The gameplay is fluid and beautiful as ever, and while I thought the graphics of the first already looked like the they were being churned out by the 360, I was amazed to see the strides made with this sequel. And oh yes, it is much more grusome than the maddeningly grusome first, next generation installment.
For those loyal readers, you will remember many times on this blog I refer to my ninja alter ego, ninja powers, or ninja activities; Ninja Gaiden is the inspiration for all that nonsense. The other Stonies used to bust my balls about my love for Ninja Gaiden, however Stoney has recently become hooked on this game while in LA. If he ever gets enough wiggle room in his weed budget and buys a 360, I am sure this will be the only game he will buy.
Behold, the greatest game that will ever be on the 360. That’s right, fuck off Halo 3.
It is a bit long at 9 minutes, but I assure you, once Ryu starts dismembering and eviscerating, you will hardly notice the time going by.
If you own an Xbox 360 by the time this game is released next year, PICK IT UP. It is a challenging (really challenging), fast, fun game in an era when these games are becoming rarer. Oh sorry Dank, I know you wouldn’t mind buying about the millionth World War II game to be released.
Stoney Wage Slave 
the new airborne game looks good. you should buy it for me. i’ll be there saturday, i expect it to be waiting on whatever ridiculous thing you call a coffee table.
both halo and ninja gaiden were not that impressive. of course all the vibrating controller crotch straddlers will nearly explode their load at this unexpected and ‘unfathomable blasphemy’. i admit i appreciate both, but i could never say that either were in my top ten games or anywhere close to it. for multiplayer shooters, nothing has ever come close to the original–“grenade launchers, stack”. as for button mashing unrealistic third person adventures based in the supernatural, i would think stoney’s madden dream world would be up there. when ryu fought ninjas it was cool and appropriately named ninja gaiden. when he fought whatever else it was that he magically slayed, it became ninja gayness. no, i do not need a history lesson on the foundation and evolution of the series, i am aware. if you want to mash buttons, why not play Nintendo Track and Field without the rich kid running pad?
nothing beats riding around miami or any other north american city listening to dr. dre in a ferrari testarossa running over pedestrians and shooting po niners. the only element they should add is school children, don’t you think? and roller blades too.
also, anyone ever seen prayer of the roller boys? totally gay 1990’s sickness.
Dank, that is the reason you were not a true ninja and could never fully appreciate the game. on the surface it looked like a button masher, however this was not the case. Combos needed to be learned for certain situations to achieve maximum enemy damage, becuase the game was so hard, you had to do it right.
As for you hating it when Ryu was fighting soldiers and fiends, well that’s just personal preference. Yet, I find it a telling characteristic of the neophyte gamer to callously turn his back on a game for something so trivial as character asthetics. Especially when the gameplay is the best you will ever find in an action game.
ninja gaiden is nasty, but not the best game ever
best i will ever find is a ridiculous statement for baboons and your fellow poo throwers to make that i will never agree with. okay, the game is okay, but it is not that good. the weaponry is cool and the add-ons for ryu are good, but give me a break, this shit is weak compared with so many games.
prince of persia is gay too
the only reason you dont like these games Dank is because you aren’t killing Nazis or storming Omaha Beach. Enough said.
Buy what games you want, and I will buy mine. There was no need to talk shit about me bringing to light that an awesome game is coming out.
roughty,
you’re smart, you’re beautiful, and dog gone it people like you.
roughty, stop taking sensitivity pills, you are starting to grow dreds