I got a new dog on Tuesday, a pitbull from the pound, a little girl about a year old, who had been abused, bred and thrown away for nothing.
She is a beautiful girl, smart, sweet, happy and hyper. She loves my other dog Chompy Dinosaur, but Chompy doesn’t so much love her.
We named her BooBoo…other names we considered were Yo-Yo, Maibee and Hammerhead, but nothing was really sticking. Anyway, this dog has a fucking vagina on it like nothing I have ever seen.
BooBoo walks bowlegged because her vagina is so big between her legs. The thing literally is bigger than any dog’s nuts I’ve seen since I can remember. It’s about the size of a closed fist, like a tennis ball. She’s not very big, either, and you can see that shit coming from a mile away.
BooBoo’s Vagina = Fucking Huge
It looks like the Alien Queen’s egg-laying thing, connected to her butt. BooBoo could probably shoot a softball out of her vagina, and not even break a sweat or feel like she did anything great.
Anyway, I just felt like I had to come clean with the reader-folk, and tell you about my new dog’s huge vagina. It is huge.
It might be a better idea for me to give you something to visualize, so that you can have some idea of what I’m talking about. Remember Birdo, from Mario Bros. 2?
That’s BooBoo’s nay-no on Birdo’s face, drawn to scale in relationship to BooBoo’s body. It is, however, slightly less fluorescent.