The world as I see it

In attempt to ground myself and my ideas, I present to you all, Stoney’s View of the World. In that such an argument or idea will be undoubtedly complex, full of non sequiturs, hypocritical, and sometimes stupid, I disclaim that:

All these words were written at work, by a slave to the man, following many months of bound servitude, during which time no appreciable gains were made, save those of the sentimental variety. There will be no second-guessing and no-rewriting, only forward movement. I stand by my words, in so much as I said them, but I do not uphold the truth and authenticity of the following statements.

In my mind, everything always comes back to MONEY. The big cheese, the cheddar. Without money, nothing would work (in our ideological frame), what would we eat, what would we do all day, for fuck’s sake? In the name of money, the nations of the world were built, and function today, as MONEY, it turns out, has an immediate and direct relationship with POWER. As my homie Bradley Noel said, “He who has the money has the authoritee,” and those words, my friends, though they were written by a dead junkie, are as true and as right as rain.

First of all, first of all, let me re-focus our attention. We are talking here about human beings, and our behavior, role, functions, etc, as animals upon the earth in the solar system of the universe. I hate the soft sciences, because I feel they try to emboss a stamp of scientific authority upon human actions, which I feel is utterly and ridiculously impossible. This treatise, however, must be viewed as an examination of humans and society, and therefore, a practicing of the soft sciences. I will therefore warn you all again, that I am merely a fool and a vagrant, and will probably not be able to keep up my lofty tone the whole time.

Money and power. Ah yes. Money, power, corporations, globalization, the whole nine yards. Is the world controlled by a tiny room of businessmen? Maybe. There’s no point in ruling it out. If you consider it, it would benefit the powers that be to have a close relationship, enabling those in power to stay in power, while the rest of the population of humans just lives…that’s right, just lives.

In the end, the only REAL function, the only REAL reason that any of us are here, is to make babies. To have more of us. To keep the whole thing moving. If you aren’t making babies, then you are basically treading water (in a biological way). As a strapping lad of 24, I am in my baby-making prime days. I am in the “best” shape of my life, because at this point, all my body really gets to do is deteriorate. Even if I do start exercising and working out, my ability to get stronger and “exert my life force” will progressively diminish, until I really have no capacity to grow, and will begin to shrink. This is obviously decades away.

So then, I have created two different spheres – MONEY/POWER and MAKING BABIES. Just right off the bat, we can explain a shitload about human behavior using just those two ideas. Notice that the two don’t really mix, and in fact, could be considered opposites. Note that the more time you spend at work (money), the less time you have to take care of your family (making babies). Also, think about a time when one caused the other. Just stretch a little bit….Helen of Troy. Helen of Troy stands out in history as an example of when men went to war (moneypower) for a woman (making babies). It usually doesn’t happen like that. People without moneypower are usually the ones making the most babies too, which is an interesting thing to note. I don’t need to get into 3rd world birth rates versus 1st world birth rates.

But I think I do need to get into the difference between India’s birth rate and old Europe’s birthrate. The movie Idiocracy sums it up perfectly for me. While us white, rich yuppies are getting financed, going to college and preparing our unborn children’s fairy tale life, Jorge the Mexican is having 5 kids, with any number of women, thereby spreading his cell matter in the world, and increasing the odds of more Jorges for hundreds of years to come. On the other hand, you’ve got me and all my gay william and mary buddies, not having kids until we’re 30-35 (if we can break away from the grind at all), and then having 1 or 2 perfect little gems to keep it going for us. That’s a 5:1 ratio.

Ever heard of Kimbo Slice? He is a mean, badass motherfucking dude. He’s 33 years old, and has 6 different kids.

My old neighbor in Hollywood was this gangster MS-13 queen bee, and she had like 3 or 4 kids. There would be a gaggle of youngish gangsta MS-13 organic life factories, sitting on the porch of their ghetto house. One time, they were doing coke on the porch, in the middle of the day, in front of the kids. Sweet.

Anyway, I’m sure there’s some white peoples out there, having sex all day, and making all these babies. But it’s not us, kids, it’s not us. We’re at work all day, stressed out, and feeding our reproductive systems the foul carcinogens that will seal our biological tree’s fate. What did you eat for lunch today, reader?

On that note, I will take a break. We’re getting real simplistic with this, but there’s one more big factor included to make it a big 3. CULTURE. That’s right. The whole time we’re all making babies and taking over the world, we are talking to each other and sharing the human experience. That’s what makes up culture (religion included). Culture comes into play into the whole picture, because it’s weird to marry outside your culture (make babies), and it’s also a reason that many wars are started (jewish/muslim). Now, the wars aren’t started because they believe in different gods, but the cultures are distinct in their beliefs, people take sides, and the situation escalates. Making babies is a big part of culture in another way, in that most people automatically learn culture growing up, and it becomes a part of who they are. You’ll probably never meet a Jew with Mormon parents, or a Muslim with Buddhist parents. Though you may. Though you may.

That’s it for now. Maybe I’ll finish, maybe I won’t. I had some fun. Kinda boring though, should be nothing new for anyone who knows me.


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