Stoney Reviews His Ideals, Works to Become More Smarter

I’ve spent some time away from the blog, to try to get my shit together before I dump it on you. I feel unfocused and out of touch with this venue, like I am talking nonsense to people who won’t understand it anyway.

At any rate, I working on my priorities for you, so that hopefully I can find somebody to target with my Bullshit Slingshot. You have been warned.

First of all, the new Babyshambles album comes out next Monday, called “Shotter’s Nation.” I expect it to be Grade A quality fuck some shit up. Last night, Lady T called my good homie Pete out for being a…… “poser.” If you want to go and call a good savage like him a poser, for looking up to his elders and emulating ridiculousness, while putting his own spin on it…then I don’t know what.

Anyway, don’t buy the cd… STEAL IT!

It’s pretty easy.

In other news, not only am I unfocused and out of touch with this blog, I feel the same for my life in general. Same fucking gay job, same fucking bullshit everyday. I shouldn’t be defining myself by my job, so I’ll try not. But if you are in the same place for nearly half the given hours of a day, it should be a place that you can handle without going fucking insane. Perhaps a common complaint from us working, well-off, young, slightly overweight, over-educated fuckheads, but nevertheless, it is valid.

Earlier today, I was promised a blog post by none other than Dank and Suit, a supposed collaboration. PFFFT is what I have to say to your bullshit. Neither of you bitches can get it together to put down a blog. Let’s not even forget that it’s fucking Friday, and there’s no way Suit will be able to get down and witty after a long day of giving Check +’s to college freshman on their classroom participation report cards. I predict a picture, or some other weak montage, with little commentary and zero insight. Weak effort, kids, I’m failing you before I even see your defecations.

And as for you Roughty, your weakness is inexcusable.

Twitch, good job on the football posts. Branch out a little bit, nutsac, it’s not like you can claim “business trips” are taking up your time, like Dank is trying to.

Anyway, peoples, the point is, there is absolutely jack shit going on here right now, and I don’t see that changing for a while. The crew is dropping the ball, big time.

Nobody has anything funny to say or anything, or anything. Who wants to think about the big bad world when we can just eat ice cream, smoke weed and watch Superbad on a 60-foot tall movie screen. Certainly, I choose ice cream weed and Superbad over political and philosophical debates any day.

To get back to what’s really important, I have been researching the Presidential candidates’ websites, and my verdict is in. Mitt Romney has the best website of any of them, far and away. His videos work quickly and well, the information is organized, and it seems like he has a full grasp on where he is going and what he is about. Obama and Guiliani both had somewhat weak sites, with slow loading times, less cohesion of ideas, and lots of speech videos, which I find uninformative and uninspiring.

Hillary Clinton, the person I am voting for, has a decent site. I found myself saying “happy” when I went there, whereas I said “it’s business time” when I went to Mitt Romney’s site. Hillary’s videos aren’t as quality as Mitt’s which I found kind of disturbing, considering how much money she has and what is at stake here.

Deep down, I’m torn between Mitt’s federalism and Hillary’s central government. Right now, there’s a news article on DrudgeReport with a headline that says Hillary is going to give each U.S. baby $5000 in government bonds to pay for college, etc.

That, quite frankly, is fucking ridiculous to me. The thought of giving every new baby a government grant like that is fucking nuts, and a huge step towards some form of socialism. Don’t ask me what kind, this is just shit talking.

Anyway, Mitt preaches “take care of yourself,” and Hillary is like “we’ll take care of you.” Personally, I think it would be better if everyone could take care of themselves, but I don’t think that it would ever happen like that. On the other hand, lots of people seem to not want to take care of themselves, and we shouldn’t be giving them the tools to fuck off so bad. Give me a break. I could never vote for Mitt, though, because he is a fucking lunatic war mongering Mormon at the end of the day, family values and the works. If we are going to blast Hill-dog for her 5k a baby plan, then I’d have to go back at Mitt for “double the size of Guantanamo” comment during his first debate. Wow.

Anyway, as usual, I have no direction and no purpose, and therefore no real function, and I will continue to broadcast my worthlessness until the government shuts our website down, or until I get fired from my job and have to go to the public library to check my email.


2 Responses to “Stoney Reviews His Ideals, Works to Become More Smarter”

  1. 1 stoney September 28, 2007 at 6:48 pm

    i am vindicated, and i agree as well.

    as an aside, ran into the one and only sheila, yates 2nd south 4 life

  2. 2 dankknuggets October 4, 2007 at 4:12 am

    also, that 5k will go toward you and the wife’s baby on the way and his future weed smoking, exam cheating, non-charmin anus bleeding, never going to class college education at West Egg University of Future Homosexual Onlookers to Greatness.

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