god damnit stoney!

you pansy! 

dankkkkkkkkk will be the first to tell you that you’re not in touch with your feelings, and i actually agree with his hyper-girly perspective on this issue. 

clearly, your poor little feelings were bruised by the fact that i (def. not dankkkkkkkkk) have a job and do not always have time to meet in this blogariffic “clubhouse” to talk about girls and tv shows and ganga-weed and funny sports bloopers and scientology and celbrities and the rest of the endless string of drivvvvvvle.  rather than just saying that your poor little feelings are bruised, you flew off the handle and threatened another choppulation.  this, sir, is not appropriate.  you don’t always have to chop people who piss you off (dankkkkkk and suit) — or move to the other side of the country from them (jack, kay and kstack) — or write blogs about how terrible they are.  follow dankkkkkkkkk’s advice; get in touch with your emotions.

search your feelings, luke.  you know it to be true.

the truth is that you are scared of being alone in the blogosphere.  rather than risk fading out and blowing away like so much sawdust, you alienate dankkkkkkkkk and suit and simultaneously corral roughtonious into a homosexual electronic embrace. 

you should know by now that the firm foundation on which the wageslave was built (ie — roughty and suit) has been holding this entire structure together since minute one of hour one of day one of month one.  what the hell was supposed to happen when you were xan’ed out at work?  and in key west?  and drunk at home?  i’ll tell you what happened.  roughty and suit (and some other hangers-on) picked up the slack.  stoneywageslave was wounded, and we bandaged its wounds, gave it a pat on the head and sent it on its way better than it was before your slack-ass crumbled into oblivion.

in short, stoney, you should be ashamed of yourself for disgracing the blog.  further, you should pray to everything you hold holy that when all of my loyal readers read that you were chopping me, that they didn’t pack up their trucks and move on to search for their suityourself fixes in the nether regions of the web.  you’re treading on thin ice, son, and you better get down on your knees and grovel.

as far as dankkkkkkkk goes, i suggest that you limit him to pics only.  his pics are often flavorful, but his text is rarely intelligible.  it’s been a few years since william and mary, so the humongous words he frequently busts out are no longer as impressive to me as they once were.  i need more of the old dankkkkkkkkkkk — dumb ass yankee-land stories and weed smoking adventure tales…  no more coup d’etat, and surely no more feaux-candidacies.  my advice — stick to pics. 

now dankkkkkkkkk, as you read these words (and i know you’re gonna) please do the right thing.  don’t give me the legendary dankkkkkk cold-shoulder.  rather, take my advice for what it is — sage advice from a worthy counselor…  think of it as…


i dunno…

something like this…

holy gospel.  that’s what it is.  and you shall address it as such or risk fury of heaven (kempsville).

in other, non-gay-ass-booger-eating-blogger news, the atlanta braves are coming on strong.  here are a few faces that are either already haunting your dreams (roughty) or will shortly appear there (fans of any other non-NL east team).

willie harris

learn something for a change, and read this article.   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Willie_Harris

yunel escobar

4-4 last night with 3 rbis.  defies logic and play better than the player he’s replacing…

edgar renteria

going for his first ever 200-hit season.

no need to mention the names of the two best perennial braves powerhouses…

walk-off double last night.

roughty, pray he never comes out of his slump.  makes david wright look like a blind t-ball player.

finally, the devastating force behind this year’s championship run — mark teixeira

last note, if this post doesn’t bring in the awesome and super-cool page views you bungholes are so interested in, why don’t you cry about it?!  who gives a shit if johnny joe the startrek dorkus reads this shit or doesn’t?  not me.  it’s not like colin powell, george foreman or dankkkkkkkk’s mom are reading this shit, so why the hell would we give a shit?  get a reality check, o ye worthless blogaholics; this blog is a piece of crap.  denying its pieceofcrapitude is denying the blog of its one real strength.

pu-pu-pu-peace out.


6 Responses to “god damnit stoney!”

  1. 1 stoney August 15, 2007 at 11:16 am

    suit, your half-ass response is directed half at me and half at dank. what gives? im not the one with my head rolling around in a basket, you are.

    and, dont try to make it seem like im a big fat whiny baby. as figurehead and namesake of this POS, it’s up to me to steer this lunk of shit in the right direction.

    i’m the decider.

    anyway, the legacy of your name will not be determined by a rash, retaliatory outburst, whose only purpose is to cast a harsh negative light on me, who deserves no such ignominy.

    it will be determined by the extent of your homosexuality…which is to say, like i said the other day,

    that you like dudes.

  2. 2 Roughty August 15, 2007 at 11:41 am

    The Braves are weak. I hate to break it to you Suit, but it’s not a slump when it lasts over a year. Andruw Jones is overrated, washed up, DONE. Your team is old news, the bandwagon that you hopped on years ago has derailed and all occupants have died of dysentary, just like the Oregon Trail.

  3. 3 stoneywageslave August 15, 2007 at 11:49 am

    i want to see more butt taps/slaps in these baseball pictures

  4. 4 ddub August 15, 2007 at 12:39 pm

    where the fuck are your west coast posts…you lazy mofos…

    “simultaneously corral roughtonious into a homosexual electronic embrace” HAHA

  5. 5 dankknuggets August 16, 2007 at 8:25 am

    my plan of self-destruction is underway. look at ye petty grovellers, whiners, and autocrats.

  6. 6 suityourself August 16, 2007 at 8:50 am

    ddub, ask and ye shall receive. west coast post forthcoming.

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