CHOP CHOP

Danknuggets, you are toast.

Suityourself, you are toast.

Both of you bitches have been fucking CHOPPED. Peace the fuck out, assnuggets. I have both the reason and resources to kick you both the fuck off of this weak site. Please allow me to explain.

First, where you at, bitches? No posts, no comments, no LOVE. What is up with that shit? Dank…you quitting the blog because Roughty sassed you a little on the flamboyant nature of your prose…so you quit?? What a joke.

Suit, you haven’t posted a blog since you were in Venice, you lazy fucker. How the fuck hard is it to come up with a goddamn stupid post with your retarded fuck-ass pictures and racist comments? Please.

CHARGES OF CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY AND BLOGIFICATION, BROUGHT AGAINST DANKNUGGETS AND SUITYOURSELF BY KING AND CHIEF PROSECUTOR OF THIS BLOG, STONEYWAGESLAVE, AND BY SENIOR BLOG JURISPRUDENCE EXPERT, ROUGHTY MCROUGHTON.

LIST OF KEY GRIEVANCES AND OFFENSES

1. Lack of content. Neither of you write SHIT. Dank, your last post was over a week ago, and Suit, your last post was almost a month ago. I don’t need to present to you alternatives to time-costly posts, because if you don’t have the motivation to figure out something quick and good, and you can’t find the time to post….then you can’t post at all.

2. Lack of cohesion and group support (both active and inactive). This is a big one. Both of you fucked up big time in different ways, let me break it down.

Suit- yours was an inactive grievance. Through your first offense (no content), you managed to actually commit the 2nd offense. Because you weren’t active in the blog, and you couldn’t come up with a new post every once in a while (not even once a week?), I felt that you were letting us down. Your posts are consistently top-read grade A material….if and when you post. Would your boy Chipper be as great of a player if he only showed up to the game once a month? What about Shaq? It takes commitment, and consistency, to really pull it off. When pulling your “best of”, I was like “is this it?” Weak effort, I know you can do better, and I know you enjoy it…please don’t tell me you can’t find 15 mins to pull out a post. Plllllease.

Dank– yours was an active grievance. Your ill-fated mutiny attempt was merely a facade and attention-grabbing technique. By timing your mutiny to the specific week of my vacation and absence, I sensed a direct attack upon my blog livelihood, and an attempt to divert the blog from its originally intended course. Yes, the mutiny was hilarious, and I consider myself one of the only people who gets your references, style and tone. BUT, asshole, this is my blog, and you are toast for your vile misgrievance.

3. Utter and infinite inferiority to the two reigning blog masters, Roughty and StoneyWageSlave. Yes, I did enjoy each and everyone of both of your posts, even if they were gay, misleading or otherwise worthless. Part of this blog is to be WORTHLESS, and you helped out with your stupid posts. BUT, your posts forever will be considered weak and secondary to the two reigning champs. There is absolutely nothing you can do about it. We can talk about pageviews if you want. Suit, I consider you to be the pageview master of the site, despite Roughty’s recent huge advances on his “Pegasus.” Why? because multiple articles you wrote pulled in a shit load of people, not just one. I think that you are operating on a lower mental level than we are, and your low-frequency sentences and such attracted a larger, more retarded audience than I am personally capable of doing. Whereas your Nascar and cheese fries pictures go over nicely with the plebeians, compound sentences and political thought do not go hand in hand with great page views. And Dank, I can’t stress enough how I do appreciate your own politicisms and witticisms, but the fact is, you fucking missed the boat. Again, Dank, I remember you blasting out a whiny baby cry that your best blog ‘hail mary fools of grace’ wasn’t getting proper respect…..but does it really deserve it?

YOU BITCHES ARE BOTH CHOPPED.*

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*with the ability to post when necessary. I am not deleting your usernames, like the other CHOPees, because I feel that you do have valuable info to add. You have just been publicly reprimanded for your weak ass bullshit.

PS- Shout out to TWITCH. Get ready to be jealous.

What pretty face did Roughty get to stuff full of food the other day?

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6 Responses to “CHOP CHOP”


  1. 1 Roughty August 15, 2007 at 8:21 am

    Hate, hate, hate. Not an outright execution, but Suit and Dank are in the stockades as Stoney hurls rancid lettuce and tomatoes at their shamed faces in the middle of town square.

  2. 2 suityourself August 15, 2007 at 10:06 am

    resurrected and now chopped again. i was a miracle worker, but now i am just a dead corpse again.

  3. 3 suityourself August 15, 2007 at 10:06 am

    “i used to be the walrus, but now i’m just john”

  4. 4 suityourself August 15, 2007 at 10:07 am

    maybe if i make enough comments to my obituary, i’ll be “allowed” back in.

  5. 5 stoneywageslave August 15, 2007 at 10:16 am

    maybe

  6. 6 dankknuggets August 16, 2007 at 8:13 am

    good, fags


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