All-Pro Football 2K8 is classy and sensitive.

For a lot of you gamers out there, yesterday was a huge day.  Madden 08 was released at midnight, and now we get to see a whole new season on ESPN of the, “Madden Bus”.  This is just a bunch of guys in my age bracket who travel around playing Madden, screaming at each other, and mostly getting recognition for doing nothing.  But enough about Madden, because it will most likely underachieve once again.

Lost in all the Madden hooplah is All-Pro Football 2K8, a fairly solid game brought to you by Visual Concepts, the makers of the very surprising ESPN Football 2K5.  I had played ESPN 2K5, the second to none in-game presentation and the $19.95 price tag intruiged me.  So when I heard this game was coming out, I tracked it online and looked at the videos before the release date (which was a month ago). 

Seeing as the Madden franchise is rapidly monopolizing the football video game world by buying the exclusive NFL licensing rights, All-Pro Football was relegated to having to create fake teams, with fake stadiums, and mostly fake players.  However, the NFL license does not cover Hall of Famers, or retired players, and this is where All-Pro Football tries to make its mark.  Take a look at the cover art…


As a side note, John Elway was in my restaurant last week, and he is a grinning fool.  I guess I would be too if I won two Super Bowls and lived among piles of cash.  But, I digress.

I do not know the whole cast of retired superstars featured in All-Pro Football 2K8, but I have heard there are approximately 240.  However, I stumbled upon an in-game video of one of these superstars, and I have to wonder about Visual Concepts’ humor and legal fate.

The video is of O.J. Simpson back on the gridiron.

Wow.  Let’s list the flagrant fouls here.

1.  OJ is the featured player on a team named, “The Assassins”.  Okay, minor at best.

2.  After OJ gets a first down or makes a big play, his character celebrates with a stabbing motion.  Hmm, that is a bit suspect.

3.  The teams fucking mascot is a hooded, knife-weilding lunatic who makes a stabbing motion as OJ scores.  Visual Concepts, you had to know what you were doing there.

Apparently, OJ was originally going to celebrate with a throat slash motion, a la Rashard McCants, but Visual Concepts thought that would be a little overboard.  Also, I have read articles that say that all the proceeds OJ makes from this game are going to the Goldman family.  Take that, Goldmans.


4 Responses to “All-Pro Football 2K8 is classy and sensitive.”

  1. 1 twitch August 15, 2007 at 12:34 pm

    Jesus Christmas Roughty, you met JOHN ELWAY, the best quarterback to ever play the game. Good job on topping Stoney’s mediocre celebrity sightings. While he’s boasting about looking across the street to see Norm from cheers, you are in the presents of a legend. That’s right, JOHN ELWAY, transcends mere celebrity and achieves a much higher honor. Congratulations Sir Roughty the gods have deemed it necessary to place you near greatness. While we’re on the topic maybe you could let us see deeper into your charmed life of wonderment and describe what the best quarterback ever in the world had to satisfy his championship hunger. After he won back-to-back super bowls he could be spotted doing Coors beer commercials, which raise the questions, did he have a beer? If so, what kind?

  2. 2 stoneywageslave August 15, 2007 at 12:53 pm

    oh shit. twitch, beware the wrath of roughty’s fury at hearing the word COORS

  3. 3 Roughty August 15, 2007 at 1:07 pm

    I do indeed hate Coors, however John Elways gets a pass. So does their most recent sports icon spokeman, the fucking fastest man ever, Michael Johnson.

    Twitch, to answer your questions John Elway ate a 2 egg omelette, the ingredients of which were, cheese, bacon, and red and green peppers. The plate comes standard with our southern potatoes. He did not consume any alcohol, it was 8:30 AM, and we all know John Elway has his night cap at 6:00 AM.

    He was accompanied by some little lawyer/accountant looking guy; most likey his bitch. John Elway is enormous. TV cannot do justice to this guy’s size. And, like I said in my post, he always had a smile on his face; which is to be expected.

  4. 4 dankknuggets August 16, 2007 at 8:18 am

    that is a denver omelette substituting bacon for ham.

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