Celebrities Scientology Monday Fuck-Off

It’s fucking Monday, and that sucks. The birthday weekend was a success.

Driving down Hollywood Blvd on Saturday afternoon, it really struck me how much Scientology is picking up. I used to live right next to the Scientology college, or whatever, so I was used to it, but when I came in for a visit, I just couldn’t believe how many huge buildings said “Scientology” on the side, or there was some L. Ron Hubbard bullshit running around. I bought Dianetics about a year ago, and read most of it.

One of the main points about Scientology is you can’t get fucked up. No drinking, smoking or doing drugs at all. You have to be totally there upstairs to get “clear”….you know what else you need to jump into “clear?” About a million bucks. Some of the later auditing sessions cost up to 1k an hour, so it’s quite expensive.

Anyway, pros and cons aside, South Park did the funniest Scientology spoof when Tom Cruise and R. Kelly wouldn’t come out of the closet, and then flashed “THIS IS WHAT SCIENTOLOGISTS REALLY BELIEVE” when they talked about the aliens, and the tortured souls, and the whole Scientology part.

Scientology Roll Call

Danny Masterson




Sonny Bono (bonus points for governmental infiltration)


Jason Lee (seen at the Sonic Youth show Friday…extra Celebrity Alien bonus)

***Major Edit, Wikipedia entry: “He and his fiancée Beth Riesgraf have a son named Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf Lee (b. September 28, 2003).




I think that the Scientologist Celebrities list is much, much less important than the “on the fringe” Scientologist list.

Who is running the new Hollywood media blitz race?

Posh and Becks


Who is best boys with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes?

Fresh Prince and his dyke ass wife Jada Pinkett


Scientology PowerHouse Picture of the Week


4 Responses to “Celebrities Scientology Monday Fuck-Off”

  1. 1 suityourself July 23, 2007 at 11:47 am

    k. holmes is smoking hot. wow. scientology is picking up in la, i think, but not back east as yet. i wonder whether or not his association with tom cruise will propel daniel snyder (redskins owner) into the scientology fray… probably he is already there. he must believe in aliens if he thinks jason campbell is going to win him a super bowl.

    side note on the beliefs of scientologists.

    Scientologists who have achieved the State of Clear may continue onto the Upper or OT (Operating Thetan) Levels. These levels are available by Church invitation only after a review of the candidate’s character, ethics and contribution to the Aims of Scientology.[27] The contents of these advanced courses are held in strict confidence within the Church and individuals who have read these materials may neither discuss nor disclose what they contain without jeopardizing their standing in the Church. [27] Presently, there are eight such levels, OT I to VIII.[28] Church management has promised to release a ninth OT level once certain expansion goals are met. [29] The highest level released to date, OT VIII, is only granted at sea, on the Scientology ship, the Freewinds, which was established to provide a “safe, aesthetic, distraction-free environment” where this OT level could be delivered.[30]

    Despite their confidentiality within the Church, excerpts and descriptions of these materials were published online by a former member in 1995 and then circulated in mainstream media.[27] This occurred after the confidential teachings were submitted as evidence in court cases involving Scientology thus becoming a matter of public record.[citation needed] In the confidential OT levels, Hubbard describes a variety of traumas commonly experienced in past lives, experiences that extend many millions of years into the past.[citation needed] He also explains how to reverse the effects of such traumas.[citation needed]

    Among these advanced teachings, one episode revealed to those who reach OT level III is the story of Xenu and his Galactic Confederacy.

    Scientologists have argued that the published accounts of the Xenu story and other teachings are distortions of their practice, presented out of context for the purpose of ridiculing their religion.[27]

    Xenu (sometimes Xemu) is introduced as an alien ruler of the “Galactic Confederacy” who, 75 million years ago, brought billions of people to Earth in spacecraft resembling Douglas DC-8 airliners, stacked them around volcanoes and blew them up with hydrogen bombs. Their souls then clustered together and stuck to the bodies of the living. Scientologists believe the alien souls continue to do this today, causing a variety of physical ill-effects in modern-day humans. Hubbard called these clustered spirits “Body Thetans”, and the advanced levels place considerable emphasis on isolating them and neutralizing their ill effects.[31]

    from the wikipedia… i don’t know about all this stuff, but i do know that if this is what they believe, they should say so up front. instead, here is what they say on the front page of the official website.

    The word Scientology literally means “the study of truth.” It comes from the Latin word “scio” meaning “knowing in the fullest sense of the word” and the Greek word “logos” meaning “study of.”

    Scientology is the study and handling of the spirit in relationship to itself, others and all of life. The Scientology religion comprises a body of knowledge extending from certain fundamental truths. Prime among these:

    Man is an immortal, spiritual being. His experience extends well beyond a single lifetime. His capabilities are unlimited, even if not presently realized — and those capabilities can be realized. He is able to not only solve his own problems, accomplish his goals and gain lasting happiness, but also achieve new, higher states of awareness and ability.

    In Scientology no one is asked to accept anything as belief or on faith. That which is true for you is what you have observed to be true. An individual discovers for himself that Scientology works by personally applying its principles and observing or experiencing results.

    Through Scientology, people all over the world are achieving the long-sought goal of true spiritual release and freedom.

  2. 2 suityourself July 23, 2007 at 11:47 am

    insane in my membrane.

  3. 3 stoneywageslave July 23, 2007 at 12:47 pm

    aliens + lost souls + volcano soul dungeons = world’s greatest religion

  4. 4 Twitch July 23, 2007 at 10:47 pm

    Ok, I’m off my race kick. Not one negetive word. Only peace and love brothers. What is going on out there in la la land? Are you crazy minstrels having a blast or what? What’s the most savage thing you’ve done? Did you guys find a new religion? Did they cut off Stoney’s forskin?

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