Roughty’s Random Weekly Video, Week 8: Keep your head on a swivel

Granny obviously didn’t play sports in her sprier days, because coach would have been all over her shit for not keeping her head on a swivel.  This action is almost as paramount as, “keeping your eye on the ball.”

Seeing as I have not fully signed on to the movement to euthanize everyone over the age of 60, (there are still some clauses I need to go over with them, and there’s the matter of my 401 K contribution; fucking cheapskates) I believe any feeble bodied persons should be decked out in full battle armor whenever they leave their houses.  If my lazy, back-stabbing campaign manager will get his shit together and post my campaign photos, I will add this issue to my platform.  Dank, get moving bitch.

I’m tired of my health insurance skyrocketing just because someone’s Gramps is hitting the cough medicine a little too hard, or Nana has an inner ear problem and keeps cracking her noggin when she falls because she, “fancy walks.”  Then, when the elderly can’t handle their own shit anymore, guess who is stuck with the tab?  Well, I’m not entirely sure, but it damn sure won’t be me. 

I will never be a burden to my little rugrats, I’m going out in a blaze of glory the day I turn 50.  I’m thinking, a ridiculous high speed motorcycle accident fireball, or a hail of bullets while robbing a bank.  Hey, if I don’t die, free money!  It’s flawless.  Go big or go home bitches.  October 13, 2033.  You heard it here first, look for me on the news.


With the impending Stoney Wage Slave reunion inching closer, and Stoney’s birthday next Saturday, I will let you readers in on my gifts to him. 

First, the furby he never got.  I’m going to make Stoney name him, Knuckles.  Knuckles will be the enforcer around the house, and it’s my estimation that after a month, a SWAT team will have to take out Knuckles after he becomes tribal overlord of Venice Beach.

Secondly, and even better…..

This will be his best birthday yet.

Infinitely better than his 16th when he received a Rolex from his parents.  That’s right, a fucking Rolex.  And you’re busting my balls about my dad and his money, Stoney?  Pffft, get out of here with your nonsensical nonsense.

3 Responses to “Roughty’s Random Weekly Video, Week 8: Keep your head on a swivel”

  1. 1 stoneywageslave July 13, 2007 at 9:04 am

    possibly my favorite random video so far…

    log, log, it’s big, it’s better, it’s good

  2. 2 Roughty July 13, 2007 at 1:14 pm

    The song goes, “It’s better than bad, it’s good”. Jackass. You have the video at your fingertips. I don’t know how you remember to breathe when you wake up in the morning.

  3. 3 dankknuggets July 18, 2007 at 4:52 pm

    it’s engraved on the back of the roly

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