Well it appears it’s getting vicious around here. I have just fallen victim to heart rending friendly fire. No worries though, we Irish are resiliant and do not feel pain like all you other knuckle draggers. Seeing as the flavor of the day is poking fun at other bloggers’ pasts, I grant you faithful readers a glimpse into Stoney’s past.
Stoney, for the most part, is a troglodyte when it comes to the world of athletics. Yeah, he can toss and catch a baseball like any male should, and can chuck the frisbee with feined experience, but it ends there. I hate arrogance, but I can say Stoney gets pummeled whenever we compete in athletics. We are both pretty competitive people, but we are always good natured about the unorthodox beatings I put on him. It’s adorable readers, it truly is.
However, Stoney can play tennis. He can play tennis very well. He has that to hang over my head, which he will take any opportunity to do so. It’s ok, I never played tennis, so my pride is left intact. As we all know by now, Stoney comes from the land of tennis milk and honey, Florida. It’s easy to play tennis when your weather is conducive to outdoor sports year round.
But tennis is in trouble my friends, observe…
What’s wrong here you ask? Let’s go in for a closer look.
That’s right sports fans, Roger Federer accepted his Wimbledon Trophy with his pants on backwards. Critics and fans are glorifying this guy as the greatest, perhaps of all time, yet, with his lack of knowledge of front and back, it is amazing his front and backhand swings are so devastating.
This is only further proof of what I have been saying for years. Roger Federer is a cyborg sent from the future to dominate us inferior 21st centuriers in tennis. Cyborgs have no need for clothing, so it comes as no surprise that he is unable to put his pants on the same way us flesh bags do. Good luck all current and prospective tennis players, because it seems your sport is monopolized by a futuristic cyborg who forgot to upload his fashion chip.
P.S. Stoney, in honor of your beratement of my clan, I have cooked up a special meal to serve you in LA. I will give you one guess as to its contents.