July 4th, Venice Beach

Salute, Americans. Not often do I get misty-eyed about the greatness of this country, but sometimes I do. I’m proud to be an American, born and raised in this country of freedom. As silly as that sounds, it’s pretty fucking true. I get to sit here, read all sorts of shit that’s going on in the world on the internet, get paid decent money to do a job that’s relatively easy for me, eat food, drive my car, write on this blog about stupid shit, and just do whatever the fuck I want. I can do whatever the fuck I want, and a lot of that stems from where I live and the society around me. I love it.

Anyway, I’m skateboarding down the pier at Venice Beach, cruising and enjoying the holiday crowds, when Arnold the Terminator and his weird wife Maria Shriver come biking by me. Fucking Arnold. So there he goes, with 1 of his kids, followed by about 4 secret service people. It was sweet.

I turned around and just kicked it with the secret service guys, and skated for a mile or two, chilling with the Governor.

The shit was pretty fun. I didn’t talk to him or yell at him, because I respect privacy, and it was obvious that he was just out to enjoy the holiday with his vacation. I just trailed along, having a good time, and watching people’s reactions….some pointed and shouted, some told the person they were with, but I’d say more than half the people didn’t even notice him. He was straight chillin, Venice Beach style. To any and all who are curious, Venice Beach is the fucking coolest place in the goddamn country. NYC is the bomb shit too, BUT the beach lifestyle is far and away more relaxing and fulfilling than the cramped city. Yes, Venice is part of a huge, sprawling shitstem of a city, but once you hit Venice, you are literally in a different world. It’s sick, and I love living in a place that I am excited about. The last few places I have lived have given me negative vibes, and contributed negatively to my life and lifestyle. Not so with Venice. I am exercising, getting sun and generally just big pimpin it, living large and lovin life.

Why don’t you live in Venice? I don’t understand why everybody doesn’t live here. It’s the shit.

In other news, I’d like to announce that I am now legally allowed to carry up to 8 ounces of marijuana on my person, in my house or in my car. The dude who gave me the run down emphasized one point, though, “Don’t medicate while driving.” Thank you, sir, I will follow your advice, and medicate only while not-driving.

How am I ever going to leave a state that allows me to smoke weed at my leisure and pleasure? No more gay weed dealers, no more short bags, no more nothing. I can go to the fucking weed store and buy my half-pound, and be content with my life. It’s fucking ridiculous. It’s a sea change. It’s a paradigm shift. It’s sliced bread.

It’s Venice Beach.

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6 Responses to “July 4th, Venice Beach”


  1. 1 ddub July 5, 2007 at 10:36 am

    venice is where all the weirdos and wackjobs live…and you fit in perfectly my friend…

  2. 2 stoney July 5, 2007 at 10:42 am

    ddub dont make me smack you

  3. 3 gn July 5, 2007 at 1:28 pm

    I’ve had this feeling for a while that, when I leave D.C., I’m moving to California. Now I know where to go!

  4. 4 suityourself July 10, 2007 at 12:15 pm

    stoney, you are an idiot, and i’m terribly jealous of you. why in the world would you tell everybody about this?! do you want them all to go there and horn in on your dope connect.? arnold is a homo, but it’s cool to see any governor. i’ll be the judge of venice and will have a complete photo journal for this blogstablishment.

  5. 5 Fudcake September 13, 2007 at 8:08 am

    Hi there

    I found your site because I was looking for a film called Venice Beach with a character called Stoney in it. Might have a different name in America, I saw it in Edinburgh where I live. It was an excellent film about four eccentric people who all end up in Venice beach. The character called Stoney wakes up upside down in a tree. Let me know if you’ve heard of it I’d like to see it again.

    Best wishes

    Martin

  6. 6 stoneywageslave September 13, 2007 at 8:17 am

    yo fudcake-

    i’ve never heard of your Venice movie, but it sounds pretty funny.

    word up from across the ocean!

    stoney


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