So, you didn’t like…

… built to spill? 

that’s aight. 

you’ll grow some hair on them balls eventually and then you’ll start listening to music whose words your parents can actually understand.  until then, enjoy your dj jazzy jeff and the fresh prince. 


or was the video too savage for you pansies?  either way, let me know when you’re ready for some real culture.  until then, say hi to n k o t b for me.

 alright, enough rubbing salt into your wounds.

i want to publicly thank sir roughtonious for posting those pictures.  when i saw those pics, i didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or shit my pants.  stoney was a fucking wreck even back then, ladies.  don’t believe the stories of rock stardom and chizzzzzzled abs.

next, the braves blew hard last night.  but that was only the second worst blow-out i’ve seen in the past 24 hours.  my cousin’s team won their championship softball game by a score of…


yup.  that says 37 – 1.  i’m not making this shit up.  i honestly felt bad for the other team.  then, my father says, “they need to learn how to lose just like everybody else.”  this sounds awfully cynical.  is it right for some little 12-year-old girls to have to suffer such a crushing defeat?  what about the “kill” or “skunk” rule?  well, this was the championship, and the skunk rule didn’t apply.  i am not sure.  it seems like 10-1 or even 20-1 would have taught them “how to lose” pretty well.  37 – 1 is just an embarrassment.  i wouldn’t be surprised if those little girls went home and did themselves in.

rather, my cousin said that most of them just wanted to get ice cream after the game.  they don’t care whether they win or lose.  wait a minute…  37 – 1, and they want some ice cream?!  hell no.  you’ll get nothing and like it you non-softball-playing wastes of space.  what does this look like?  price is right? 


you don’t get no lovely parting gifts.  if you lose, you lose. 

that’s one of the biggest problems with our society — getting rewarded for doing nothing.

1.  Perfect Attendance Award — give me a fucking break.  you couldn’t con your mom into thinking you had the runny shits, so you actually had to do what you’re supposed to do.  no perfect attendance award.  you might as well give the kid a fucking trophy for finishing his milk at lunch.  trivial bullshit — all for the sake of the little son of a bitch’s self-esteem.

2.  Most Improved Player — whuuh?  let’s rename this one the “you’re not as shitty as you used to be award.”  come on.  this is ridiculous.  if i batted .000 and then batted .100 the next year, i might be most improved, but i am still terrible.  i don’t need a trophy.  i need a career change.

3.  Parole — “yo, dog, i’m back.  they lemme out on good buhhaviuh.”  yeah, good behavior.  if you had good behavior, they wouldn’t have locked you up in the first place, you damn crack selling car thief.  why don’t you run along and rob a liquor store now.  what ever happened to “you do the crime, you do the time!”?

the society is swarming with this bullshit.  the way i figure it, those little girls should have just stayed at the park after their 37 – 1 loss and started running laps.  after three hours or so, i’d have given out a trophy

to their coach

for coach of the year. 

in other news, i’m going to the land of fruits

and nuts

that’s right — l.a., california.  in about a month, i’ll be there.  i’m a busy guy, so i need to start packing.  i figure i’ll need some rubbers, a bullet-proof vest and some thick thick glasses to convince the local pork that i have horrible glaucoma.  after the trip, i may not be coming back, so if i never post on the blog after july, just assume that either

1.  i’ve become a famous movie star like george clooney or peewee herman, or

2.  i’ve defected to mexico, or

3.  i’m hooked on crys.meth. and am never coming home.

(crossing my fingers for number 3).     out.


2 Responses to “So, you didn’t like…”

  1. 1 Roughty June 21, 2007 at 4:47 pm

    classic. our la trip suit is gonna be the stuff legends are made of. sort of like our biographies. and by sort of, i mean exactly.

  2. 2 dankknuggets June 21, 2007 at 7:21 pm

    i have received word of our disgraced presidential candidate. it seems he sojourned in society awhile, away from his family oil farm, checked the blog and wanted to say, i quote: “fuck parole, electrocute them till their eyes pop out. and no black bags–sweet”.

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