Tommy Morrison is dangerous

Tommy Morrison, the brilliant actor who portrayed Tommy “Machine” Gunn in Rocky V, has scheduled his first MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) fight.  Granted, Morrison is the former IBO and WBC Heavyweight champ, defeating the likes of George Foreman, but he has not fought in 11 years. 

Frankly, I am a little concerned, and Tommy has had extra helpings of humble pie. 

“I’m just going to walk out and hit him on the chin,” Morrison said at a news conference Thursday night. “I’m concerned about killing someone. I’m not kidding.”

 Whoa, he’s not kidding people.  I am worried about the safety of not only the opposing fighter, but the crowd of onlookers at the casino in northern Arizona.  It seems Tommy is hell-bent on murder, so if the other fighter doesn’t perish, look out innocents.  Oh, did I mention the man Tommy is fighting outweighs him by over 100 pounds?  Of course this does not faze Tommy.  When asked about the four-ounce fingerless gloves the pugilists will be using, Tommy had this nugget of genius to offer. 

“I’m a little nervous about that — not for myself but for the other guy,” Morrison said. “To me, it just seems like someone signing up for assassination class. He must be out of his mind.”

 Assassination class?  I was sure the FBI shut that school down years ago.  Oh wait, so you meant the class where someone signs up to BE assassinated, Tommy?  I see, well that’s a whole different ball game.  Yeah, he must be out of his mind.  Or maybe Tommy meant he was in the assassination class, and this guy was the next unlucky soul to run into his hurricane of fists and rage.  Either way, Tommy has taken a few too many blows to the head. 

Win or lose, Tommy is my hero.  Forget, Apollo Creed, Clubber Lang, or even Ivan Drago.  Only Tommy’s antics were able to infuriate Rocky to the point of evoking his most memorable quip from the Rocky series.  After Tommy had betrayed the “Italian Stallion”, Rocky, obviously hurt and shocked, commented so eloquently, “Yo Tommy, I gave you my kid’s room.”   

Poor Rocky.  As broke as he was, he still alienated his family and let this flash-in-the-pan, Gunn, live in his kid’s room.  However, this was all before the unorthodox beating Rocky put on Tommy in the back alley of a bar, thus, setting up his return in “Rocky Balboa.”

With this trainer/fighter combo, I am surprised Gunn wasn’t crowned Supreme Ruler of Earth.  Alas, dreams can only be dreams.  

Furthermore, I was appalled that “Rocky Balboa” was not titled, “Rocky VI”.  What happened?  Could Stallone only count up to “V” in roman numerals?  Very disappointing.  If you want your movie to be a hard-ass sequel, you better use roman numerals.  Digits are for nancies. 

All quotes are courtesy of espn.com, the article can be read here.

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