Stonies = Beatles

If we were the Beatles, who would be who? Here’s who…

Stoney– John Lennon. John Lennon invented the Beatles. It’s not all in the name, but he did come up with “The Beatles.” When John quit the Beatles, it was over. John wrote savage, uncouth songs that were unpolished and raw. Not one to think too much or worry about the trim and dressing, John stuck to the essence and focused solely on his message. Stoney, as we all know, made up this retarded blog, name and all, one day at work when he was blazed up and trying to find something more exciting to do. StoneyWageSlave is Stoney’s brainchild, and Stoney is the bombshit heart of this society of internet savages. If Stoney quit blogging, the internet as we know it would crash down, and the markets and economies of the world would probably soon follow. Please, Stoney, don’t ever quit…

Dizzy Miss Lizzy, a cover….

Roughty– Paul McCartney. One word totally sums up the deep relationship between Paul and Roughty: TRUMPET. Paul came from a jazz music background, and he created thick, dense songs with lots of layers, style and arrangement. Note Roughty’s excessive, though dubious, greasy style and ability to string the reader along on merry rides of worthlessness.

“When I’m 64”

Suit– George Harrison. The bitter, sour bastard of the group, George Harrison really had no time for other people’s opinions, and pretty much did whatever he wanted. Musically, Suit is Paul because he sings like a neutered 12 year old boy, and is by far the most impressive “musician” of the group, as opposed to John’s slap-stick bullshit that he just ADD’ed his way into making up. The crux of Suit’s relationship to George is his sour personality. When I see Suit working on a post, I see him hunched over, in the dank basement of some terrible educational institution, searching for funny pictures on Google, and muttering about how hard it is to keep up with me and Roughty’s quality content. I know it’s hard to keep up, sometimes, old buddy, but if you try hard enough, we might let you record your own song on our last LP.

“Don’t Bother Me,” George’s first song, if I recall

Dank– Ringo Starr. And then there was Dank. Ringo was the last member of the Beatles to join the group, after much begging and pleading from the lads. And so it was with Dank, after constant berating, that he joined our merry crew and began telling tales of chivalry and intense video game battles. What Dank lacks in deep thought and originality, he makes up for with classic timelessness. In all seriousness, seriously…Dank is Ringo. There isn’t that much to debate about on this one.

“Don’t Pass Me By”


4 Responses to “Stonies = Beatles”

  1. 2 stoneywageslave June 6, 2007 at 11:57 am

    i already wanted to suggest that, but i didnt want to hurt your feelings

  2. 3 dankknuggets June 6, 2007 at 12:27 pm

    yoko was without a doubt k-stack, but now, i must say the position is currently open.

    in response to my scathing commentary by the prince, i will soon be responding with the full force of my darkest, brutally honest shite.

    Fear me biatch.

  3. 4 stoneywageslave June 6, 2007 at 12:32 pm

    yellow card, below the belt fuckhead. let’s not start trying to pinpoint a yoko

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