Salute, Twitchie

Twitch has surfaced. Nobody on this blog knows Twitch but me. I met him in Texas, where I was for a bit before moving to Venice. Twitch was my boy, my homie. I was going through some bullshitstem, and Twitch was there to pack bowls for me, and gamble large amounts of $ and pills on heads-up poker games, one on one. One time, we were playing 200$ a game. I lost the first game, then went double or nothing. Twitch had me down to my last cent, and I came back all the way, to break even, instead of owing him $400. That is how I know I am and always will be better than him at poker.

Twitchie, in a lot of ways, helped to save my life. He helped me to get out of a terrible situation, and to deal with my pain, and a lot of other weird issues I had brewing at the time. For that, Twitch, you will always be my homie.

Now that I have given props, let me tell you what the real Twitch is like. Twitch is a pirate. Twitch should have been born an orphan in England in 1670, so he could have joined a pirate ship, and just been a bad motherfucker, because that’s what he is.

Total disregard for the law. Total disregard for other people’s safety. A mind bent towards mayhem and destruction. Thievery. Pillagery. No concept of consequences, or the future for that matter. These are only a few of the ideals that Twitchie embodies.

I don’t know where to really go with this, because my adventures with Twitchie really could get me thrown in jail. For real. For real for real.

Twitchie and I were a real-life Raul Duke and Dr. Gonzo. The thing about those two is, they can’t stay together for that long. Me and Twitchie moved to LA together, and had a little house in Mexicantown. We destroyed that place, and almost everything else that came in our path. The only thing that we didn’t destroy was Lady T. We met Lady T the same night, and Twitchie liked her. As I’ve mentioned, I didn’t like her, because I didn’t want to talk to her, because I thought she was going to stab me with her stiletto high heels. They got stoned behind house of blues on sunset, while I leaned up against the speaker and listened to Galactic thump it.

Anyway, the point is, Doctor Gonzo and Raul can’t hang out together all the time, because someone will get hurt, real bad. Shit was starting to get ugly, so Twitchie peaced out. Got peaced out or peaced out, it doesn’t really matter.

The closer you get to the edge, the thinner the lines get. As your boundaries expand, the space between the boundaries get smaller and smaller and smaller, until they are gone, and you don’t have any boundaries left.

Twitch, I salute you. You are a fucking retard, in the truest sense of the word. Huffing gasoline at 5 years old can do a lot of things to a developing brain, I’m sure. I’m just glad you made it out ok, and wish you nothing but big, fat ganja weed buds and jolly laughs for the rest of your days.


Twitch on the left, Uncle Fester in the middle, and StoneyWageSlave on the right at Coachella 2006


8 Responses to “Salute, Twitchie”

  1. 1 dankknuggets June 4, 2007 at 9:58 am


  2. 2 stoneywageslave June 4, 2007 at 10:00 am

    dank, do you have a job? seems like you are spending your whole day commenting on the blog. go pay your bills, you nancy

  3. 3 twitch June 4, 2007 at 10:39 am

    Thanks to Mr. Nuggets for his warm welcome. In reading These blogs it has come to my attention that one should exercise caution when revealing personal expieriances. You never know when details of your life (expressed in confidence) may come back to bite you on your buddies blog site. With that being said I would like to note that we ALL have stories and while venturing down this path of exposure I can only ask that we “keep it clean” because we ALL have stories.

    Play Ball

  4. 4 stoneywageslave June 4, 2007 at 10:53 am

    twitch, i have to ask you the same question i asked dank, and one that i have asked you a few times as well……


  5. 5 twitch June 4, 2007 at 10:59 am

    Job shmob! I’m a pirate. A savage mother fucking pirate.

  6. 6 twitch June 5, 2007 at 11:20 am

    pirates don’t need to know how to spell.

  7. 7 twizzard June 6, 2007 at 11:46 am

    my blog. more savage? possibly.

  8. 8 stoneywageslave June 6, 2007 at 11:58 am

    less savage, but more retarded. i like it

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