Introducing, the Dead-Sexiest, Most Savage Blogger on the Net

I’m going to let everyone in on my world, and how dead fucking sexy I am. What did I do today? What am I going to do tonight? What the fuck is wrong with me?

Hopefully, I’ll answer all those questions for you right here and now.

Early this morning, I woke up and played guitar. I haven’t played in a while, but my recent rock and roll posts have fired me up, I guess. Don’t expect to see me at the Hollywood Kewl Klub Open Mic Night, though. I haven’t played at a bar for a while, I think I needed some seasoning.

Here, I am playing, “Stairway to Heaven,” by Prince.


Then, my goddamn dog Chompy Dinosaur was bitching and whining at me, that I never pay enough attention to her. I took her to the dog park, and down Main Street, where I see movie stars, celebrities, and crack bums on the reg.



Some movie stars I have seen, within ice-cream cone throwing distance on Main Street, Santa Monica.

The Hoff, Max’s Dad from Rushmore



Later tonight, I will take 2 showers back to back, iron my clothes, comb my hair, and get ready to go to the club, where I will dance and party the night away.

This is me, getting my hair done, and getting ready for the club.


Later in the night, I will do a combination of the following things. First, I will eat a big crack rock. Then I will drink a half a bottle of Jack Daniels. Then, if I am up for it, I might get a big pizza and eat just the cheese on top, and give the rest to my dog. Here I am on the roof of my apartment, getting ready to jump across the alley to the next building.

Me, up top.


After that, go to the club and party the night away. When I get home, I’ll be tired, but I’ll probably need some beer to calm my nerves.

Here’s me on my way to bed.


There you have it folks. Now you know why I didn’t initially want to put my pretty face up on this bitch, because I knew it was instantaneously cause a massive, worldwide WWW Internet shut down, as billions of people flock to the same site to get a glimpse…get ready for the real Y2K disaster.

Lady T is not in the pictures because she’s taking them. I don’t know if she wants her mug on the blog either.


2 Responses to “Introducing, the Dead-Sexiest, Most Savage Blogger on the Net”

  1. 1 dankknuggets June 4, 2007 at 9:21 am

    it seems some of your pictures are distorted.

    the only true likeness is in the portrait of you wearing leather jacket and black speedo.

    for the sake of our integrity, we cannot mislead our millions of readers in their quest to put faces to our totally radical blogginess.

  2. 2 suityourself June 7, 2007 at 3:51 pm

    best post yet — bar none. this, my friend, takes juevos grandes. i’ll be counting the seconds until the www shutdown.

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