Mets, Braves shittalking, and love for the roll call

Let’s get a few things straight.  The Mets may be 3-6 against the Braves thus far, but last time I checked, they are the division leaders; the only stat that matters.  I do not want to have this blog turn into an ongoing debate about whose respective team is paramount.  However, Jayson Stark has published quite an interesting nugget of brilliance in his recent book.  This excerpt is an analysis of Andruw Jones.  Read it here, and cry those salty, delicious tears Suit.

Furthermore, kudos Suit on another impressive roll call.  There is one thing I must disagree with though, “Most Savage Cartoon Character”.  The most savage cartoon characters are as follows:

1.  Snagglepuss


This is a cartoon character whose masculinity and savagery are so ingrained, that he can roam around in pink.  His allocution and diction are unmatched, while his shenanigans baffle the most ruthless mountain lion hunters, evennnn.  Exit, stage left!

2. Quick Draw McGraw


Now, while Quick Draw McGraw may be the most bumbling law enforcer since Inspector Clouseau (“The Pink Panther”, assholes) his savagery is derived from being able to reap all credit for the deeds his diminuitive side kick, Baba Louey performs.

Furthermore, Quick Draw has the most savage alter-ego.  Seeing as my Irish ninja alter ego comes forth when excessive beer needs to be imbibed, or a dart game needs to be dominated, I am well versed in this field.  Let me tell you; any alter-ego that swings on ropes seemingly attached to clouds, clubbing evil doers and sometimes civilians, with acoustic guitars while shouting, “Kabong!” gets an A+ in my book.  Also, an alter-ego’s use of onomonapea can never hurt his cause.

Most Savage Alter-Ego: El Kabong


3. Foghorn Leghorn


Foghorn Leghorn is characterized by his continuous nonsensical verbal diarrhea, much like Vince Vaughn in any of his movies.  He is the quintissential cartoon version of the boorish American mid-west father figure.  Whether he is trying to bond with the egghead son of the chick (literally) he’s eyeing, or is at odds with the farm dog, Foghorn’s antics were always gold.  As a kid, I always loved it when Foghorn would toss a stick of dynamite into the doghouse and would run away as the dog chased him, only to outrun him to the end of the dog’s tether.  Then Foghorn would proceed to take a 2X4 to whack the dog around.  Priceless.

With that out of the way, and the Mets moving on to vanquish another city, we can be friends again Suit.


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