Meet the Mets

Welcome back SuitYourself, I sincerely hope your fishing extravaganza was both fruitful and relaxing.  Because beginning tonight, your shit is about to get wrecked.  And by your shit, I mean, the Braves.  Yes ladies and gentlemen, one of the most important battles of savagery goes into round 2 tonight.  Behold:





Fuck the Atlanta Braves. 

Unfortunately, due to my geographic inferiority, I cannot usually view live Mets games.  I have signed up for MLB TV from, but its just not the same.  That’s where Ted Turner comes in.  I can always count on TBS to show Mets-Braves.  However, after the first inning I am forced to watch the game on mute.  The announcers are ridiculously biased toward the Braves.  I know that is the network’s team, but come on.  A Mets fan watching a Mets-Braves telecast on TBS, is like somebody watching FOX News to find the truth about the world. 

Sorry Suit, your team is weak, and the Mets must punish them.  I know Dank is on my side.

I will resume writing tomorrow; as of now, it is imperative that I acquire booze, food, and booze. 

P.S.  The Mets have the coolest mascot in sports.  A close second would have to be the leprachaun from Notre Dame.  He’s a giant baseball!  Sheer brilliance.


Don’t let that smile fool you, this is one mascot who doesn’t fuck around.  Plus, I have seen him guzzle whiskey.  It’s true, he and Daryl Strawberry used to take shots in the dugout between innings.

3 Responses to “Meet the Mets”

  1. 1 suityourself May 22, 2007 at 3:20 pm

    it is 730 and i should be driving home right now, but roughty, this aggression will not stand. tbs rules the roost. best coverage. best camera angles. best commentators. best home-team pride.

    mets fucking suck. by the by, what’s their record against the braves this year? oh yeah, it’s mutherfucking 2 and 4. they are supposed to be the shit, but they piss in their pants when they see the braves and their humongous talent.

    roughty, you are a smart man. you can jump on the braves bandwagon with me now, and i’ll never joke you about it. i’ll even step down on the running board and offer you a hand as the braves train rumbles into town. if you spurn my generous offer, prepare for the onslaught as the braves and i continue to demoralize everything you believe in and hold dear.

    all i can say for you and the mets, roughty, is “pray. pray to the god of shitty teams that he will let you survive — not win, but survive.” andruw jones shall thump you a good one tonight.

    dank fucking knows it’s true, too dammit.

    you guys have gotten me all riled up. it’s gonna make it even nicer when the score is 18-3 braves.

  2. 2 Roughty May 22, 2007 at 7:09 pm

    Ok, so the Mets lost game one. But I had a heart to heart with Willie Randolph before the game and he said he wanted to throw the Braves a bone because he felt bad that they were two and a half games behind for the division lead. Willie is a man of the people, and I suppose we can qualify Braves players as people.

    When was the last time the Braves went to the World Series, Suit? 1995. I dont give a fuck how many times you win the division, have something to show for it. I would rather have the Mets miss the play-offs for years in a row, but when they get in go all the way. The Braves= The Bills of MLB. Suck on that.

  1. 1 Infinite bitching, at the 25th hour « Stoney Wage Slave Trackback on May 31, 2007 at 2:12 pm

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