Child Abuse and “You Got Served”

In keeping with the precedent set by my previous post, “There’s no crying in football“, I will indulge SuitYourself’s favorite past time – child abuse. 

Now, if only we can get all parents to allow their child to get their shit wrecked, we can do away with these break-dancing assholes.  Children will endure severe trauma and want nothing to do with break-dancing as they grow up.  Any activity that inspires movies like, “You Got Served” needs to be criminalized.

yougotserved1.jpg

If you readers can point out one person in this photo who you would not throw into a shark tank, conveniently located in a hibernating bear’s cave, then you are better than I.  Or, you just do not have access to a shark tank or a bear cave.  Was the goal of this movie to make the characters look like they dressed by having a cannon fire all their clothing at them?  This movie was real deep though.  The metaphor of having the “Dance Off” in a boxing ring, is writing we have only seen from the likes of Homer, Shakespeare, and Tolstoy.  If you’re in the know – and I’m in the know – you obviously heard that the writer of the script, “You Got Served” was up for the Pulitzer in 2004. 

So, back to child abuse (even though renting, “You Got Served” for your children is considered child abuse in 32 states).  The parents of this child were fearful that she would become a break-dancer, or even worse – one of those break-dancer groupies who stands around yelling, “OHHHHH!!!” every time someone gets their shit served.  I used my connection at the FBI crime lab to extrapolate all audio from this clip.  When the background noise was raised enough to hear, you can actually hear the mom say, “Look honey, that guy’s shoes are made of bubble gum and Kit-Kats.  Why don’t you go have a taste.”  The rest is history, and one more potential break-dancer stays on the straight and narrow.  All thanks to child abuse.

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