Slackers…

You guys are already falling off with the blog productivity.  Remember, pay-checks, cars and delicious cuisine come and go, but your digital immortality last forever (or at least until the Y3K worldwide computer crash).

I will waste a few minutes and tell you all about some of my numerous and illustrious accomplishments over the past couple days.  Get ready to be amazed!  This post will sort of follow the model of Stoney’s “Live From Work,” except I am not organized enough to write it as it’s happening.

So, yesterday, I did some pointless data entry bullshit and listened to Built to Spill, Flatt and Scruggs and OutKast all day.  Lots of boring college people came by my office, and we talked about NCAA tournament, NBA basketball and my favorite topic the Atlanta Braves.  It’s pretty shitty when even the most boring useless people are more interesting and fun than what I was doing before. 

Late in the afternoon, tons of pissed off students came by and huffed and puffed at me for not grading their stupid work.  I wanted to tell them to go to hell, but I decided to keep my job for one more day, so I just bitched down to them, told them I’d do the work and passed the buck to one of my co-workers, blaming the tardiness on him!  This is my usual course of action, and it is usually pretty effective. 

At the end of the work day, I was really worn out from looking at a computer all day, so I drove home, poured a whiskey and coke, chugged it and walked out to my pond to try and catch a fish.

 I caught two bass and really enjoyed the lovely Virginia weather.  There were some fly high-school age ladies jogging around, and I don’t feel guilty admitting that I watched the hell out of them and wished I was younger.

Next, as I walked back to my crizzle, I ran into my local tree man, and we arranged for a late-night purchase.  Incidentally, this turned out great, so bear with me over the next few days if my posts have more spelling and grammar errors than usual…

Later on, I drank a lot more jim beam and coke and played some guitar — very poorly.  Then, I watched a tv show about some prison inmates beating the shit out of each other.  It was awesome!  I’m pretty sure prison would be the shit.  They get to do drugs, hang out, read books, watch tv and beat the shit out of each other.  If any of you have ever been to prison, please let me know what it’s like, because I’m seriously considering going there.

Before sleeping, I watched Adult Swim and thought about what it might be like if Brian could really talk.  He’d probably be an ass-hole and would have no excuse for shitting on the carpet.

This morning, I had to give a lecture because my lazy boss is not here — as usual.  I had a hard time getting through the lecture because I kept picturing my rich boss lighting cigars with hundred dollar bills and laughing as he watched me suffer through a Truman Show style camera…  The students didn’t seem to care or notice.  Fuck them anyways.

So, that’s my post.  What the hell can you say about that?  Watch out, buttholes.  My life can’t get any less interesting, and you’ll be hearing all about the shit.

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2 Responses to “Slackers…”


  1. 1 stoneywageslave March 27, 2007 at 6:47 am

    stoney says: nice work suit. capital E for effort…or does E stand for something else. only time will tell. i have lots to say about this post, but i have my own shit to be working on.

  2. 2 Roughty March 27, 2007 at 12:15 pm

    Well if you really want to check out prison, why not do a little more than look at them fly high school honeys? Kill two birds with one stizzone. Later, Suit.


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