Just a few thoughts…

Just a few thoughts right now at the beginning of a great day, St. Paddy’s Day. 

First and most important, thanks needs to go out to good ole St. Pat for getting his shit together the last two years and making his holiday on Friday, in 2006, and Saturday, this year.  However, I have the sinking feeling that he’s going to fuck shit up for the next five years while he is off on a drinking binge.  Yet, all will be right again for two years after that, just a hunch.

On a day when so much attention is turned to Ireland and its people, I would like to comment on this beautiful land.  If you have never been to Ireland it should be a life mission to visit it at least once.  It is extremely picturesque and the people are a thrill to be around.  Not to mention, driving the countryside is a feat not to be slouched on.  Naturally, when visitng a new place, you want to see and do the most famous things that place has to offer.  For Ireland, that would be kissing the Blarney Stone.  Those of you who do not know what this process entails, here is a helpful picture on how to kiss the Blarney Stone.

blarneykiss.jpg

The stone is at the top of Blarney Castle, however it hangs over the edge, so you have to get on your back and shimmy yourself down.  Hanging over the edge of the castle, grabbing on to two poles for support, and trying not to look down the 100 + foot drop, while a drunken, grizzled Irishman holds on to you as you plant one on the stone is a thrilling experience.  Once performed, legend says you will be endowed with the gift of gab.  All us Irishmen posses it innately.  Thousands of people do this daily.  But, here’s the funny part.  Each night, the locals from Blarney, break into the castle and urinate all over the stone, so the next day each new flock of tourists are kissing their piss.  Fucking hilarious.  Never underestimate the flawless wit and logic of a boozed up Irishman.

St. Paddy’s Day is an anomaly among holidays.  No other culture has a holiday so devoted to it.  There’s no Italian day where we all eat pasta and dress up like the Mario Bros.  Furthermore, we do not embrace any other holiday as fully as we do St. Paddy’s.  On Christmas, not everyone declares they are Christian for a day, nor does everyone suddenly take up the Jewish faith on Chanuka…I know I butchered that spelling.  Yet, today everyone is Irish.  We all wear green for fear of being pinched, and if I see another “kiss me, I’m Irish” T shirt or button, somebody is getting sent to the ER.  But it is all in good drunken fun.  For the amount of Irish bashing that occurs on this blog, everyone loves this day.  (Plus I know fear and hatred are bred out of jealousy.  Stoney, I’m looking at you).  So drink up, for today you can call yourself Irish, but tomorrow you will be a non-savage again.  Slainte!

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2 Responses to “Just a few thoughts…”


  1. 1 colon farell March 17, 2007 at 1:24 pm

    nice. as an irishman myself, i too have licked the piss of the local townies of blarney, or whatever its called, and let me tell you…delicious!!!! i respect your self pride…..move to LA, where the irishman are embraced with rounds of free drinks, and countless other perks…like becoming a celebrity on the basis of zero talent and personality…

    ttyl, off to the club

  2. 2 Roughty March 17, 2007 at 2:23 pm

    LA is a fucking Irish deadzone. It’s way too hot, and nobody knows to have a old fashioned good time. I’ll stick to the east coast, thank you. Your movies suck by the way.


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