My forefather would be proud of me

Benjamin Franklin was the man.  That dude did a ton of shit, didn’t have to be President, and, I think, is the “coolest” of the old wig-wearers other than Thomas Jefferson.  Thomas Jefferson isn’t as cool to me, and I think that’s because BF looks like a turtle.

Anyway, I think both of those guys would be proud of me. They were some hard-core, rebelling motherfuckers, and they won the battle they waged- to break free of gay-ass England’s control. Fucking nancies.

Look at me and Roughty here.  We are pulling some hardcore shit off on this site, which flies in the face of everything that is white, Christian and wears a tie to work.

Nascar is the biggest thing to hit the USA since McDonalds, but you know what? Nascar sucks, and is for fat fucking rednecks who like to watch cars go around in a circle, making a really loud noise.  Period.

I work on this blog primarily at work.  Do you know what that means?  It means I am undermining the very system that puts food on my table, and doing so right underneath its nose.  My boss is sitting right behind me, and has 100% vision of my computer screen, unless I hunch up and over it so he can’t see anything.  My other boss is behind and to the left, and he has a different, yet crystal clear, vision of my work station as I post pictures of Prince of Darkness onto this bullshit so you can sit in your own fucking cubicle, and laugh yourself. 

Are you at home reading this? I sure as fuck hope not.  This blog is designed specifically as a waste of valuable work time, as a place where you can be entertained WHILE GETTING PAID FOR IT BY THE MAN.

I predict that I will get fired from my job for writing on this blog. I had an epiphany this weekend, when I did some snooping online for myself, to see how easy it was to tie it all together…lemme tell you…IT’S REAL FUCKING EASY.  So, on this day, during week #2 of this glorious blog, I am committing myself fully to producing outrageous bullshit for you to read while at work, or at least while you’re supposed to be doing something else.  If you want to read this blog instead of cleaning up your house, taking out your trash, doing the dishes, or anything else productive, that is suitable as well, but not quite as fulfilling for me, the author, because I know that you aren’t getting paid during the time you read your blog. 

I want this to be a 2-way street.  I want you to waste your boss’ time and money, while I am obviously wasting mine.  Although Benjamin Franklin was not fighting a faceless machine through semi-anonymous hypertext, he was still facing a machine.  He was fucking flagrant, too.

Benjamin Franklin makes me proud to be an American, unlike so much other shit that I see associated with the United States of America and our flag. 

You know what else makes me proud to be an American? My blog.

I hope that my blog makes you as proud to be an American as Benjamin Franklin does.


1 Response to “My forefather would be proud of me”

  1. 1 roughtymcroughton March 12, 2007 at 9:01 am

    I am proud to be an American, but even more proud to be a co-author of this blog. Self-congratulations all around for us Stoney. I was talking to Don Quixote the other day and he said this blog is THE SHIT! He also made some stupid ass comment about how he likes chasing windmills. I think he was drunk.

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