Basic Blog Outlines, Rules, General Sentiments

1. All blog posts will be written at work. This means that 90% of this glorious internet revolution will be created when I am being paid to do something else. Is that cool? I do admit that I think about what I’m going to write about when I’m not at work BUT usually, I just sit down and write, and it doesn’t come out like I planned. Calculate percentages accordingly.

2. All blog posts will be T-rated. I have a girlfriend who we will call T. To make a long story short, my favorite movie is (was) The Exorcist, and her favorite movie is “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.” This is a recurring theme in our relationship, and I vow to make every page of this blog readable for her, basically so we don’t break up over a blog. Don’t let this rule make you think she’s a square…she will drink you and your alcoholic step-uncle under the table, and then spit a loogie down your shirt when you’re puking and call you a pussy. Maybe.

3. I will be selective about who goes up on the blog roll, and what goes up at all really. I think people with blogs are weak. Lots of times, it seems like people care how many people are on their blog lists, who is reading their blog, and blabla, more than they care about actually writing a blog. I will attempt to not get sucked into that vortex of shittiness by keeping a minimalist outlook on my blog existence. I write some shit down, if someone comes to read it, that’s ok I guess, but I think in the end I am doing this for myself, so I’m not bored at work. Sorry, bitches, I don’t give two shits who you are, sitting there reading on your stupid computer my brain diarrhea.

4. I will try to maintain some degree of honesty and integrity, despite the fact that I am a fiendish, habitual liar.

5. That’s all I can think of now…to sum up, I will write all this shit at work, make it so my girlfriend can read it without getting in trouble, and try to keep an honest head, and not get sucked into the lameness of the 2.0 shitstem.

I will add to this as I need, but I also think each post will inherently carry a certain flavor, in that my essence will ooze from each one.


2 Responses to “Basic Blog Outlines, Rules, General Sentiments”

  1. 1 suityourself March 5, 2007 at 9:03 pm

    haha, i really like the idea of brain diarrhea. this is very funny. not sure it’ll pass the t-filter, but oh well, you’re the one with the rules. your most compelling rule is no. 3 above. the web 2.0 is interesting stuff, but it does result in some ego-trips for some of the blogaholics and wikiphiles. hey, i read on another blog that thom yorke likes boys. what do you think of that? also, i read on yet another blog that julian casablancas is really an android. also, i’m going to start my own blog about how beyonce knowles is really bruce willis in drag. you didn’t know that? jeez, whose blog have you been reading?! i believe this blog right here is going to be quite successful, but i can’t say that i fully understand the idea of blogs. wikipedia (god) has an article on blogs —, but i couldn’t understand that either. why not give me some information about blogs. facts are ok, jokes are better.

    think about this… indians and africans and mad chinese ain’t never even seen a computer — much less a weblog. they spend their days communicating face-to-face, working outside and trying to keep themselves and their kids alive, but we consider ourselves more civilized than them. yeah, we’re so civilized that we don’t even know how to say ‘hi’ to somebody walking down the street next to us… but we can type and text at rates of speed that would make the ladies’ who type transcripts in the courtrooms heads spin.

    exorcist is sexist. chitty chitty bang bang is racist. the best movie is Sanford and Son — The Musical… good old fashioned family racism.

  1. 1 Twitchie, Get Your Shit Together « Stoney Wage Slave Trackback on September 12, 2007 at 8:37 am

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